I never thought I’d be saying this, but R-Truth is the number one contender to the WWE World Championship as RAW gets under way tonight.

In addition to hoping that there’s no technical difficulties, Vince McMahon is also likely in attendance tonight to witness with his own eyes that the man formerly known as K-Kwik is actually going to be a viable contender to Cena’s belt like he has seemed to be over the past couple weeks.

The comparison I’ve been hearing is that this feud is akin to Superman having to defend the championship against The Joker, and those are huge shoes for R-Truth to fill, considering the fact that a year ago he was essentially Thug #3.

I’d keep up with the preview, but RAW has begun, and it start with the final moments of Tough Enough. Vince McMahon is in the ring, trying to decide who wins Tough Enough…

Stone Cold doesn’t think so. He’s planning to pick the winner, not Vince. The Chairman of WWE takes a backseat to let the Rattlesnake decide…

Big Andy, Silent Rage himself, wins the competition and becomes a WWE competitor!

As Vince McMahon welcomes Andy to the WWE, we get some technical difficulties, but when we come back, Andy is on the mat, and it looks like Vince McMahon is the one who put him there. Stone Cold doesn’t look too thrilled with how Vince handled himself… but then Austin gives Silent Rage a Stunner, sending him out of the ring before calling for some Stevieweisers.

Before Vince and Austin can celebrate, R-Truth shows up… and he’s wearing a Civil War style uniform with a long yellow scarf.¬† No joke.

Apparently he’s supposed to apologize for throwing water in a fan’s face last week… and he proceeds to apologize to Little Jimmy, Big Jimmy, and the soda, which could’ve been refreshing had he not wasted it.

Stone Cold gives us a voice and asks why R-Truth is dressed up like that… and apparently he’s dressed up like a Confederate soldier because he’s in Richmond tonight, which was the capital of the confederacy during the Civil War… and he wants to secede from the WWE Universe.

Before things get much further, The Miz takes the opportunity to show up, and I’ll admit to laughing when I saw that the video screen now shows the upside-down WWE logo when The Miz shows up.

What does The Miz want? It’ll be a minute, but I’m sure he’ll get to it…

Apparently he wants one last championship match, which makes me think that WWE is potentially regretting setting up the one-on-one between R-Truth and John Cena… but then Alex Riley shows up.

Not to be left out of the party, John Cena shows up, interrupting before Alex Riley can get a chance to actually attack The Miz for a third week in a row, and R-Truth has to be a little frustrated, as he has to continue to stand in that ring with that bulky uniform on, which has to be sweating buckets in.

In shocking fashion, when the Anonymous GM sends in an email, but Vince McMahon is the one who shuts up Michael Cole. He prefers to make the main event booking himself, and he sets up The Miz & R-Truth against John Cena and Alex Riley.

Really? I was expecting something involving Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del R…. wait, no, they weren’t there. Of course they weren’t going to be involved.

Match – Santino Marella vs Michael McGillicutty

So I think it’s clear now that Nexus is going to likely be defending their belts against Santi-Koz at Capitol Punishment. Talk about effective booking? I got the idea just from the introduction of the match!

After some decent interaction including Kozlov leveling Otunga outside the ring, Santino gets the win via The Cobra.

Outcome – Santino Marella gets the victory by pinfall

As I forgot to mention earlier, Stone Cold is going to once again don the referee’s shirt, this time for the tag match with Cena / Truth / Miz / Riley. Yes, I could go back and update that part of the article, but I’m guessing that most people just read the newer parts of the article.

Oh good, Kelly Kelly has a match! What Diva’s storyline does WWE have for us now that kHARMa is out of the picture.

Diva’s Tag Match – Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly vs The Bella Twins

Did I mention I’m starting to be able to tell the difference between the Bella Twins? It would appear that the current champion, Bella, has a tattoo just below the waist-line of her ring attire shorts. In the front.

I’m sorry if making you look in that area of gorgeous twin Divas is problematic for you… but for most of us, it works out rather well.

As I see Beth Phoenix looking for the tag from Kelly Kelly, it occurs to me that Beth might be the only Diva who actually knows what the corner tag-rope is used for.

Outcome – Beth Phoenix gets the win for their team with the Glam Slam and then the easy pinfall.

Jack Swagger interrupts a magic moment involving Trish Stratus and Booker T, talking smack about the Tough Enough training methods of Booker T… and then challenges him to a match, which Booker T is more than happy to accept.

CM Punk’s music hits, and he comes out to the top of the ramp with Mason Ryan and a microphone… and he’s apparently not thrilled that he’s going to be facing Rey Mysterio yet again… but he’s willing to do that so he can prove how powerful his New Nexus is.

I like CM Punk, but beating one of the smallest guys on the roster? That’s supposed to be impressive? Who’s next on their radar, Evan Bourne?

Match – CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio

Because we had this match last week, there’s not a whole lot to say about this battle except the options are to continue this potentially re-ignited feud between Punk and Mysterio, or to turn it into something interesting by having it turn into Mason Ryan vs Rey Mysterio.

Outcome – Rey Mysterio wins with a pinfall following a splash off the top rope after nullifying Mason Ryan.

Alberto Del Rio shows up and he continues to claim that hitting Big Show with his car was an accident. He then calls out Big Show… and as the music hits, we get a farce, with Del Rio’s personal guest ring announcer wearing a bald cap, fake goatee and using crutches while sporting a fake gut.

Is anyone else confused as to why they would have ADR openly mock a guy who’s sporting an injury which, if it were real, would be so devastating that Big Show would be out the entire Summer, part of the fall, and possibly be sidelined permanently? Maybe they’ll have Kane get involved with ADR for the meantime, or it’s possible that they’re just doing this to help keep building heat for Del Rio while they leave him off of pay per view cards.

In the ring when we return from commercial is Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero… with Zack Ryder?!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see Long Island Iced Z in the ring, but what’s the association with Ziggler?

Okay, apparently Ziggler wants to be out there to watch Kofi Kingston and scout him as a future opponent… though I don’t really get how he’s all buddy-buddy with Ryder.

Non-Title  Match РKofi Kingston vs Zack Ryder

Nice mention for Zack Ryder’s YouTube show by Dolph Ziggler. With all the viewers that’s going to add to the current masses, I now have no chance of getting GuysNation into the BROSKI OF THE WEEK spot. Thanks Dolph…

Outcome – Kofi Kingston gets a win with his TROUBLE IN PARADISE KICK, which he hits out of nowhere.

Did anyone else think that Zack Ryder actually did a lot better in that match than Kofi did? Kingston actually looked somewhat rusty in there.

File it under “thanks for telling us what we already figured was official”: The Anonymous General Manager has apparently decided that The Miz will take on Alex Riley at the upcoming pay per view.

For anyone who’s keeping score, that’s two times in a row that The Miz has found himself booked to fight one of his NXT Rookies on a pay per view.

Match – Jack Swagger vs Booker T

Jerry Lawler giving a voice to what most of us were already thinking… hopefully Cole takes Lawler’s criticism to heart and stops talking so much.

Despite picking the fight with Booker in the first place, Jack Swagger decides he doesn’t need to fight to the bitter end to try to get the win, and he stays outside the ring and intentionally gets himself counted out.

Outcome – Booker T gets the win by count out

After the match, Even Bourne jumps Jack Swagger from behind, then rushes into the ring, with Swagger following closely behind… running right into a knee to the gut from Booker T and the running Axe Kick by the former Harlem Heat member… and then the Air Bourne from Evan Bourne!

Is anyone else thinking that a pairing of Evan Bourne and Booker T could be an awesome tag team revival of Harlem Heat?

Could anyone be considered more the opposite of Stevie Ray than Evan Bourne?

Match – John Cena & Alex Riley vs The Miz & R-Truth

So apparently when you shorten Alex Riley’s name into his nickname, it becomes A-Ry instead of A-Ri? I’m considering typing it as A-R’y from now on.

How are we supposed to appropriately respect Steve Austin’s authority as a referee if he’s not wearing black and white stripes?

I guess I’ll have to do my best… by which I mean I will respect his authority because if I didn’t, he’d probably find me someday and hit me with a stunner. He’s done so to much less important people for considerably less reason.

So yet again we have a former WWF World Champion as a special guest referee on RAW who hits their finisher to help the good guys get a victory? I suppose Austin thought it was enough fun when Bret Hart locked in the Sharpshooter a couple weeks ago that he wanted to show The Miz what The Stunner was like here tonight.

Outcome – Directly from the Stunner, John Cena hoists up his opponent, hits the Attitude Adjustment and gets the pinfall victory

After the match, Cena gets to have a beer with Steve Austin, A-R’y takes his for the road… and then the Anonymous GM speaks up.

Apparently Austin’s actions are once again considered to “cross the line”, so the decision is reversed.

For some reason, even though he’s not a fair referee, Austin gets to be the special guest general manager next week… and Austin likes that announcement so much that he decides to knock down Michael Cole and pour beer all over him. Yep, you read that right.