Unless I’m mistaken, this is RAW # 902, and we’re rolling into Cincinnati tonight.  The General Manager is still anonymous, his laptop is yet to be destroyed by Edge, RAW still hasn’t reciprocated the love that Smackdown shows them

Will Chris Jericho get his spot back in the Six Pack Challenge, or will someone else replace him, or will it be a 5-Pack?

Let’s get down to business.

How in the world is Chad Ochocinco the host of Monday Night RAW and this is the first I’m hearing about it?

Should I be surprised that Ochocinco is willing to be part of a WWE show?  He’s one of the best self-promoters in the NFL.  The back-and-forth dialogue between he and The Miz was… well not quite awesome, but pretty funny.

Is there anyone less likely to be friends with Chad Ochocinco than Daniel Bryan (Danielson)?  If Chad wants a great reality show, he should have one where he and “American Dragon” hang out.

The Miz vs American Dragon

When’s the last time you saw someone faked an injury and found a way to be replaced in a match by a substitute?  That excuse by The Miz?  Awesome.

Did anyone actually think that Alex Riley would last more than a minute as the substitute against Bryan?

How great was it that we actually got to see Bryan force The Miz to tap out, even if The Miz wasn’t part of the match at the time?

Did anyone else find themselves laughing at Edge singing and dancing with Jillian?  I think that’s the first time I’ve ever laughed at Jillian’s character.  Next week… Santino & Jillian?  Could be a great opportunity for Tamina to show up and shove Jillian away, showing her affections for Santino (and a little jealousy).

Fantasy Bookings Continued:  Tamina vs Jillian the week later, and Tamina gets so violent that she gets disqualified.  Santino shows up to help pull her away, the Uso guys get involved, causing for Santino & Koslov vs The Usos the following week.  Good idea, or should I stop thinking?

Edge vs Evan Bourne

How awesome is it that Evan Bourne can leap off the arena floor and slide into the ring under the bottom rope?  How many times did he fail before he did that the first time?

Is this possibly the second time WWE has produced a bodyslam challenge since Wrestlemania 3?  I’ve been watching almost that entire time and the only one of these contests I can remember since Andre vs Hogan would have to be Lex Luger and Yokozuna on the U.S.S. Intrepid back before Wrestlemania X.

And now we’re getting another body slam challenge, and they found a way to use Mark Henry.  This is the second time in three weeks that Mark Henry and Evan Bourne have been linked to one another.  Why not just make them a tag team and get it over with?  I could enjoy some Evan Bourne & Mark Henry backstage interaction, and I could imagine some sort of awesome finishing move where Mark Henry throws Evan Bourne somehow into the opponent.

Fantasy Bookings Continued:  RAW 903, the GM could setup Mark Henry & Evan Bourne vs Edge & Zack Ryder (punishment for Edge calling him a tool on RAW 901).  Seriously, I might make these fantasy bookings a regular part of these articles.

Ted DiBiase & Maryse vs R-Truth & Eve Torres

Why in the world would WWE have Maryse make her entrance without the broadcast there to show us her entrance?  Do they not understand what the fans want to watch?  And yet, we get to see R-Truth do his entire rap…  At least Eve Torres was there for the majority of it.

Is it possible that R-Truth has more than one rap… and it took him all this time for him to debut his second option?  This is a much better theme song.

I have to agree with Jerry Lawler, why would they take the camera off of Eve Torres’ dancing just to show R-Truth singing?

I have to agree with Ted DiBiase, this match is stupid.  I would like to watch Maryse dance… but part of me is afraid she’s going to be the one singing, and he’s going to be dancing.

Is anyone else glad to see Ted DiBiase and Maryse finally get involved in something that resembles a feud?  Ted DiBiase and John Morrison attacked one another a few shows in a row, but there was no real payoff that I remember.  How about the WWE follows through on this one?  If they don’t, does that mean DiBiase is doomed to have nothing good happen until at least Royal Rumble?

Speaking of awesome reality shows I’d watch, William Regal and Chad Ochocinco could provide some great moments.

Scratch that, Ochocinco and Goldust.  Get on that, VH1.

Zack Ryder sticking up for himself with Edge again, and it seems like he’s trying to start that alliance I was talking about earlier in my fantasy bookings.

How cool is it to see John Morrison do that urban gymnastics / “parkour”?  I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that someone in WWE can do it.  There’s not a huge difference between WWE competitors and stunt men.

Is it a coincidence that WWE shows us John Morrison’s crazy parkour skills just before he competes in a Falls Count Anywhere match?

Sheamus vs John Morrison – Falls Count Anywhere

So John Morrison gets a spot in the Six Pack Challenge if he can beat Sheamus in this non-title match?  Maybe Sheamus should let him win so he doesn’t have to face Jericho in the match at the pay per view.

Was anyone else thinking that Triple H would show up and attack Sheamus and then take the empty spot in the Six-Pack Challenge?  I figured it was an option, though I’m glad they didn’t go that route.

If Sheamus saw John Morrison leaping off the top of the shorter video screens, why didn’t he just hold up the chair he was holding?  That would’ve made for a bad landing.

Is anyone else not surprised to see Chris Jericho show up to keep John Morrison from taking his spot in the Six-Pack Challenge?

Why is Michael Cole the only one who doesn’t know why Chris Jericho is sitting in the ring?  Hasn’t he paid attention to what Jericho is all about?  Doesn’t he know that Jericho is going to sit there until he’s placed back in the Six Pack Challenge?  I think anyone over the age of 12 could’ve guessed what Jericho wanted.

Any chance that WWE realized that home viewers of last week’s RAW saw the script paper sitting on the laptop keyboard, and that’s why the laptop is more fully closed this week?

When Michael Cole started to announce that he had an email and Jericho interrupted him, did anyone else laugh because that’s exactly what each and every one of us do when Michael Cole tries to tell us he got an email?  Jericho gets more “face” points every time he yells at Michael Cole.

The changing of the Six-Pack Challenge into a Six-Pack ELIMINATION Challenge:  Good idea… or GREAT idea?

By my estimation, 1% of the readers of this article are also fans of The Colbert Report (don’t ask what my calculations involve.  It has to do with standard deviations of the distance between the rings on Captain America’s shield and the average number of penalty minutes served in an average Saginaw Spirit hockey game).  Did any of them catch the reference in my last question?

Stephen Colbert, if you’re reading this, hold out hope, you will be a multi-time Emmy winner by the time you finish “Better Know A District” (you’ve already covered mine, by the way).

Commercial comment:  Does anyone else think that BW3’s commercials, while entertaining, promote an irresponsibility that they maybe shouldn’t have associated themselves with?  Fixing the outcome of sporting events, lying to their customers about the weather to keep them in the restaurant longer, and helping people defraud their bosses and spouses by creating places for them to hide?  I like the way BW3’s does wings, but Buffalo Wild Wings might want to consider getting a new ad company.

Did anyone think I had forgotten about the match going on during RAW?  Not quite.

Shouldn’t The Hart Dynasty have planned things out better so they could escape the cage at the same time?  They’re handicapping themselves by turning the match into a one-on-one.  Tyson Kidd is a good wrestler, and he could be doing great things four years from now, but he’s not a World Class singles competitor like Chris Jericho.

How did this cage match turn into a match where pinfalls and submissions count, but they’re disregarding the rope break?

Wouldn’t this be a perfect time for a team to show up and help Jericho and in the process basically guarantee themselves a tag title shot at Night Of Champions?

Does anyone remember when Chris Jericho used the finish to this match on Rey Mysterio back at WCW Souled Out back in 1998?  Probably not.

William Regal vs Goldust

How long has it been since Goldust wrestled in an outfit other than that shiny gold one which Regal is apparently wearing for this match?  I almost don’t recognize him.

I still wish this Trading Places match involved a Diva and someone who wears something very small to the ring.

Is it a RAW Moment for anyone else to see William Regal do the signature Goldust pre-match inhale?  I don’t believe I’ll ever forget that.

Does anyone else think that the evening is going to end with the other members of the Six-Pack Challenge all getting thrown through tables and only one person left standing?

Randy Orton vs John Cena – Tables Match

When John Cena laced up his tennis shoes for this match, what are the odds that he said to himself “the last time I was in a tables match, I slipped up and Sheamus accidentally won the World Title”?

Chad Ochocinco actually sounds like he’s a WWE fan.  Though he’s maybe not the best at ring announcing, he actually sounds like he’s familiar with the people involved.

John Cena gave Chad Ochocinco his hat before the match.  Would it have been a little awkward for Cena to give Chad his shirt instead?  Maybe a little bit.

I’m drawing a blank, have we ever seen this match main event a Wrestlemania before?  Just one on one?  I could look it up, but I’m trying to finish writing this artlce so I can go to bed, and you’re just reading something and could easily do some quick research before you click the reply button.  You’re almost done, give it a try.

Is it just me, or was there a pizza man out in the crowd making a delivery right before Orton started his series of round-the-ring punches on Cena (about 90 seconds before Orton tried to suplex Cena over the top rope)?

The crowd is chanting RKO… shouldn’t they be chanting “TABLE”?  That wouldn’t tell us whether they wanted Orton to win or Cena, but come on, we heard the deep voices, and only young girls actually chant for Cena.

Nexus shows up instead of the Six Pack Challenge guys, and with Wade Barrett being one of the challengers for Night Of Champions, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised they showed up.

Is anyone else secretly hoping to see Justin Gabriel attempt his 450 splash and have it end up going through a table outside the ring?  (It couldn’t be inside the ring, he’d never complete the rotations in time.

Randy Orton ruins my fun and a perfectly good opportunity for a great 450 Splash Through A Table attempt.  The final result could’ve been the same.

Wasted opportunities.

Was anyone else thinking that Randy Orton might hit the referee with an RKO while he was thinking about what to do?

Did WWE really just book Randy Orton so strong to the point where he manages to win a tables match while John Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment?

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