It’s Monday night in America, so wrestling fans all over the world know what that means:  time for the show into which WWE places the majority of its high-priced apples, even though they pretend to treat their other show equally.  That’s right, it’s time for the show which started them all… WWE SuperStars!   Wait, no, I mean Monday Night RAW!

If you’re new to my articles, each week I do a write-up with my perspective on the “bookend” shows for, giving you my perspective in the form of questions and comments which some people consider humorous.  I’ve had people compare my work to the standup comedy of Jerry Seinfeld.  I can see the resemblence, but I’d definitely say it’s a watered down version.  Bleacher Report calls it SATIRE.  Whatever it is, people seem to like it.

They also enjoy voting in the polls which provides as part of the article.

Last night was the TLC pay per view, so there’s plenty of questions to ask, even after others were answered with the special event from less than 24 hours ago:

Now that The Miz has managed to retain the belt, will we even get through the first 15 minutes of RAW before there’s a face-to-face between he and John Morrison?  Is RAW going to go the tried-and-true method of having John Morrison go through Alex Riley at some point tonight?  Will they even wait until the pay per view to have a one-on-one match between them?  John Morrison became the #1 contender, he didn’t (to my knowledge) get a guaranteed title shot at the next pay per view.

Where does Randy Orton go from here?

Is John Cena still going to be actively feuding with Nexus, even though he has already run the ranks?  Could Nexus possibly move on from RAW all together and focus on Smackdown where there’s a new champion to prey on?

Will Nexus even exist tonight?

Daniel Bryan (Danielson) seems to be stuck in a rut in a feud of endless victories over Ted DiBiase.  Will that feud continue in the spin cycle, or will they step it up a notch or do us a favor by ending it all together?

Will Santi-Koz be on the show tonight, and will the next contender to their tag titles emerge from the Red Show?

All that and more as RAW begins!

We start things out with The Miz in the ring, and he’s on board with the fact that the fans were expecting something different to start the show… and is anyone else ashamed of the fans in attendance, having watched them cheer when The Miz mocked them by making the fake introduction of Randy Orton as the NEW World Champion?

The Miz and Alex Riley doing a WWE-version of A Christmas Carol with Alex Riley showing up as the Ghost Of Christmas Past?  And just when I wondered why Michael Cole wasn’t at the announce table… we see the Ghost Of Christmas Present as, And I Quote, my least favorite announcer currently in WWE, which says a lot because I barely remember who the third announcer is on Smackdown.

What are the odds that the Ghost Of Christmas Future is John Morrison?  If he shows up in costume, I want to find out who he beat up to get that role, because if The Miz went through all the trouble of getting the first two costumes going, he HAD to do the third.

And there we have it, the girl who got all bent out of shape about The Miz winning the belt shows up on the Titan Tron in a still image with the chromakey moving mouth over her, telling The Miz he needs to shape up so he doesn’t lose to John Morrison.

Before The Miz’s catchphrase ends, John Morrison’s music hits, and I guess he doesn’t get as much production value now that he’s the #1 contender, as he shows up without his expensive jacket, and without the slow motion camera.  I would’ve thought he could’ve had both of those things here in the opening segment, not to mention I thought he’d somehow get the role of Ghost Of Christmas Future and show him that he’s going to beat The Miz.  Wouldn’t that have been a better opening segment?  Instead, things get violent, and for some reason Sheamus shows up to attack John Morrison, leaving him on the mat?  Alex Riley outside the ring gets attacked by Jerry Lawler?

The Anonymous GM speaks up, and he sets up a Six-Man tag match against the ghosts who reprsent the past, present and future for the champ – Jerry Lawler (past), Randy Orton (present) and John Morrison (future) with his partners being Alex Riley and Sheamus.  Interesting continuation of the Christmas Carol concept.

#1 Contenders Match for the DIVA’s Title:  Melina vs Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres

So the last time Natalya defended her championship on RAW, she defeated Melina by making her tap out.  Former champ Eve Torres hasn’t had a match in a while, and Alicia Fox is the only logical choice, as the only heel in the match.  What are the odds that Melina wins?

Michael Cole was mentioning the table which Natalya had on Smackdown where they had cartoonish representations of LayCool.  Does anyone else think that Jerry Lawler was the one who painted it?

Is anyone else sad that CM Punk didn’t rate the DIVAs in this match like he has in the past?  I wanted to know what he thinks of Eve Torres, who just happens to be one of my favorites on RAW.

Outcome – Melina wins, just like I suspected (or feared) in an interesting spot where Eve Torres misses a flying moonsault off the top rope and Melina uses a small package.

Melina smacks Natalya in the face, and I suppose she’s not the only heel in that match?  Was anyone else hoping that maybe Natalya would hit her in the face with the belt?

If Daniel Bryan (Danielson) has a big match coming up, why was he showing up through the arena’s back door?  Wouldn’t he be in the locker room getting ready?  Maybe in the trainer’s room getting any nagging injuries checked out?

Did anyone else spend the commercial break fearing another Bryan vs DiBiase match?

Match – Daniel Bryan (Danielson) vs William Regal

Is anyone else extremely happy to see William Regal showing up as Bryan’s opponent instead of Ted DiBiase for a bunch of reasons?  I’m sure to get a quality match, provided WWE lets them have a couple of minutes, and we aren’t forced to see the eighth installment of Bryan destroying DiBiase’s credibility.  On the downside, no Maryse.

I’m happy to hear that CM Punk mentioned the fact that Regal had a hand in helping train Bryan.  I thought that fact might be swept under the rug, but apparently they’re playing it up here.

Great comment by CM Punk, continuing his “The Bellas Are 4’s” comments, only this time he referenced the Super Friends, saying they become 8’s when they hold hands.  Do I lose points with you by using the acronym “LMAO”?  Will anyone get upset if I use the version of that acronym with the “F” in there?  Do people prefer I just don’t use the word “acronym”?

Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that “American Dragon” gets the upperhand on a Brit when they were exchanging European uppercuts?

Was I the only one who got excited when Daniel Bryan started using the MMA Elbows to stop William Regal from blocking the LaBell Lock?

Outcome – Daniel Bryan gets the win by submission with the LaBell Lock.

If you were Daniel Bryan, would you have asked the Bella Twins to practice the post-match kisses ahead of time?  I’m thinking it would’ve taken at least a half dozen tries to make sure I was able to keep the dumbfounded look on my face afterwards…. and to keep from holding them there during the kiss.

Backstage, Randy Orton and John Morrison talk about the fact that they’re teaming up tonight and would eventually have a title match against one another if John Morrison wins the belt.  Morrison takes the high road, and Randy Orton tells him not to trust him.  Fair enough, though John Morrison could’ve come out of that segment looking a bit stronger.

Santino is laying on the locker room floor with Tamina standing on his back, and HOOORAY FOR MARYSE!!!  Did anyone else think she had possibly gotten lost in the shuffle, with Ted DiBiase being seemingly without a feud right now?  Is anyone else surprised that it sounds like there’s going to be a second DIVA’s match tonight, with Maryse mentioning that she’s going to beat Tamina tonight?

Holy smokes, is anyone else shocked that Gail Kim actually gets the chance to not only get some on screen time, but she gets to talk?  With potentially two DIVA’s matches on the card, would it be too much to ask for some Gail Kim in the ring?  She and Mark Henry have a small bit of interaction with Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero… could there be a mixed tag match?  Might Mark Henry do some work on Smackdown against Ziggler?  Gail Kim could go with him and continue the on-screen opportunities.

Mixed Tag Match – SanTamina MarelUso vs DiBiase & Maryse

I did predict there would be a mixed tag match, but this isn’t the one I was thinking they’d have.  I guess we would need a lot more notice before being subjected to Vickie Guerrero in the ring.

Is anyone else a little underwhelmed by Maryse’s outfit?  I don’t know why, but it just seems like her outfits in the past have been more flattering, and the other outfits we’ve seen from Diva’s tonight would be an upgrade from what she’s wearing in the ring right now.

Did anyone else think it was awesome when Maryse turned the Cobra against Santino and she knocked him out with it?

Was anyone else impressed by the superkick by Tamina on Maryse?

Outcome – Tamina gets the win over Maryse after using the Superfly’s Splash From The Top

Was anyone else afraid that Tamina was going to drop Santino?  I’m glad she put him down.

John Cena shows up, he gets cheered, and now we get down to business.  Clearly he’s a major focus for the Red Show’s Creative Team, so what’s next for him?  Whether or not we’ve seen the last of Nexus (at least for now, and/or on RAW, is about to be answered).  Did anyone else really want to hear what Cena had to say, based on wanting to know whether we were going to have another segment of the Cena v Nexus saga?

After Cena hugs a guy wearing a “We Hate Cena” shirt, we get claims that RAW is Nexus free… but should we believe him?

Before we fully find out, we’re going to see some footage from last night’s TLC pay per view where Cena drops a string of hanging chairs down onto Wade Barrett (who was underneath a table at the time).  We get the footage shown over and over and over again, from multiple angles and in slow motion.  Haven’t we seen this at least once or twice earlier in the night?

Oh no… if it couldn’t get any worse than having to watch the same TLC PPV clip over and over again… we get Vickie Guerrero interrupting the segment, and the secondary champion from Smackdown Dolph Ziggler is with her.

Am I the only one who was laughing at John Cena continually laughing when he was telling Vickie that he couldn’t hear her because the fans were interrupting?  Is Austin, Texas the biggest group of fans of John Cena outside of Massachusetts?

So not only is Dolph Ziggler in attendance, but he will fight Jerry Lawler if he doesn’t apologize.  Is it just me, or is this the first in in a decade that Jerry Lawler has had the opportunity to be in more than one match in a given night of RAW?  Isn’t that possibly a bad thing, given his age and the fact that he hasn’t had a dozen WWE matches in the past decade?

How awesome was it that John Cena gave “double bagger” a new definition, claiming it means that he has to wear a bag over his head just in case the one over her head breaks?  Did I miss something?  Is that a definition that anyone else had heard before?  The term’s usage would’ve been funny enough if he had just gone with the two-condom version I had heard before.

All kidding aside, I do think it’s great that Vickie Guerrero lost a bunch of weight.  She’s still not attractive, but my compliments on her hard work.

Match – Dolph Ziggler vs John Cena

Wouldn’t it be a huge help to Dolph Ziggler’s credibility if he could somehow score a win over John Cena in this match?  Does anyone else think that’s very unlikely to occur?  Ziggler and Vickie could easily work together to have some distraction that results in a shady-earned victory, and Cena could easily get some quick vengeance a month from now in The Royal Rumble, and by playing up the tension between them over the next three weeks, that would take Dolph Ziggler (and the Intercontinental Championship) to the next level.

Was anyone else afraid that Dolph Ziggler was going to tap out to the STF?  Regardless of the ultimate outcome of the match, isn’t it better that Dolph didn’t lose by tapping out?

Did anyone else really hope that Ziggler was going to get the win after he hit the Zig-Zag (or whatever the proper name was of the leaping guillotine legdrop)?  Or even that he might hit the belt-shot on Cena while the ref was distracted for a second time?

Outcome – John Cena gets the inevitable victory after both of Ziggler’s attempts at cheating fail to result in a victory.

After the match, we finally find out who CM Punk was referring to during his Slammy Award Acceptance Speech, as Punk gets into the ring with a chair and hits Cena in the gut with the steel and then downs him with a chairshot to the back.  Was anyone else disappointed that Cena basically just stands back up, angry, but without much difficulty?

Isn’t it ironic that CM Punk gets physically involved in the ring after what he said earlier about Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler both being more than just commentators from their actions in the opening segment of the evening?

I guess that ends the CM Punk time on RAW commentary, least he gets brutalized by a vengeful Cena.

After we get a quick word from CM Punk about how he stepped up to John Cena with physicality because that’s the only language Cena understands (which seems partially true), Punk drives off to avoid retaliation, which seems like a smart move to me.

The Kings are backstage, and does anyone else think the absurdity of Lawler competing in tonight’s main event is magnified by the fact that Lawler has been called “The King” since 1974… and that’s longer than Sheamus has been alive?

Dolph Ziggler tries to atone for his loss to John Cena by telling Vickie that he’s challenging Cena for a match on tomorrow night’s LIVE Smackdown, and I understand that Vickie is the official consultant to Smackdown, but since when does that give her the ability to book matches?  And a Handicap Match?  As much as I’d be in favor of seeing Cena giving her an Attitude Adjustment (which isn’t going to happen), I still don’t understand how or why she has that sort of power, and if the Blue Show’s creative team wants to give her that power, make her a deputy GM, which sounds more official than “consultant” and still brings about an aura of ineptitude.

Main Event Six Man Tag Match – Randy Orton, Jerry Lawler & John Morrison vs The Miz, Alex Riley & Sheamus

Did it occur to anyone else that the broadcast position would be Michael Cole by himself once Lawler was backstage and CM Punk had left the building?  I didn’t realize it until the entrances were going on for the main event.

Josh Mathews says that the sky is “literally the limit” for John Morrison, but that begs the question:  at what point does the sky begin?  I understand if you’re inside and can’t see the sky, but when you’re outside, technically doesn’t the sky begin right where the ground leaves off?  Would that give new meaning to “through the roof” or “raise the roof”?

Does it occur to anyone else that they’re grooming John Morrison vs Sheamus to be a feud which occurs with the World Championship on the line once WWE decides to put the belt on one of those guys?

How great is it that WWE is continuing psychology from 24 hours ago, having John Morrison sell a leg injury which he sustained during the ladder match with Sheamus yesterday?  Love continuity.

Was anyone else worried about John Morrison’s head after he got dropped from the top turnbuckle?  I realize that this is a business of things looking a lot worse than they are, but accidents do happen.

How sad is it that after all his time in this business, both as a wrestler and as an analyst on the commentary table, that Jerry Lawler still doesn’t understand the concept of staying out of the referee’s eyesight, because once you step into the ring when you’re not supposed to be there, the referee is going to see you and the heels are going to get the advantage.

Outcome – Jerry Lawler pins The Miz after Orton hits the World Champ with the RKO while The Miz was trying to hit Lawler with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Is anyone else disappointed that Jerry Lawler not only gets setup for the hero role near the end of the six-man tag match, but after Orton hits the RKO, Lawler gets a pinfall over the World Champion?  I realize it doesn’t mean anything, but this is a wasted opportunity which they could’ve given to a wrestler who could benefit from getting a big push like this.  Lawler, as defined by the fact that he’s an announcer, doesn’t benefit from it.

We find out from the anonymous GM that tomorrow on Smackdown, The Miz will take on Randy Orton.  If that’s the case, why did The Miz first attack Lawler after the match instead of immediately going after Orton?  Poor judgment on his part.

If the upcoming pay per view is going to feature John Morrison vs The Miz as its World Championship match, why did they end RAW by playing up the heat between Orton and The Miz?  Shouldn’t they have somehow included Morrison into that equation instead of just having him outside the ring with his old (and stale) feuding partner, Sheamus?

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