By the end of the evening, there will be only one episode of RAW left before Wrestlemania, so I expect big things out of the episode I’m about to review for you all…. LIVE!!!

Will there be an Undertaker sighting?  How about Triple H?  Will they cut their shyness and actually talk to one another face to face?

Speaking of Face To Face, we’ve yet to have John Cena and The Rock come face to face to have words with one another instead of Cena yammering to the crowd while The Rock makes his little videos?

The United States Champion doesn’t have a match at Wrestlemania yet, which wouldn’t normally be out of the ordinary for WWE, but Sheamus is also the winner of King Of The Ring, which would lead me to believe that they probably would’ve wanted to book him in something.

There are plenty of other questions to hope for answers to, but RAW is starting, so let’s get to it!

RAW starts with the introduction of Jim Ross, but it turns out to be Michael Cole doing a farce impression, complete with an ankle wrapped, a cowboy hat, a container of BBQ sauce, and a stuffed shirt.  It went on too long, and I started just wishing it would be over.

It actually made me happy to hear Triple H’s music.

The Game came out to the ring next, getting the show started with a guy whose match at Wrestlemania 27 will actually matter.

We get more of the same lip service from Triple H about how he’s going to beat The Undertaker or die trying.  The only real piece of note from Triple H’s promo is when he invited The Undertaker to show up next week so he could look him in the eye before Wrestlemania.  Anyone else who was half expecting The Undertaker to show up right then and there was disappointed along with me.

After the promo, Triple H is interrupted by Ted DiBiase, who claimed that if he took out Triple H tonight that he could make a name for himself and get to face The Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Just like Sheamus two weeks ago, Ted DiBiase was thoroughly destroyed before being dismissed.

Did anyone else notice that Jerry Lawler gave Triple H a look as if to say “WHY do you have to destroy the announce table during the OPENING segment?!” as Triple H was throwing aside the monitors?  I can understand his frustration.  With all the millions of dollars that WWE puts into its production, you’d think they’d have someone who could show up and fix the broken table before the night is over.  If they want a good visual to remind you of what happened, they could leave it that way for half the show, but there’s no reason why they couldn’t fix it at the halfway point at the very latest.

And seriously, Ted DiBiase has done nothing but lose to Daniel Bryan repeatedly over the past 8 months.  What made WWE think that the WWE Universe would think he stood a snowball’s chance in hell against Triple H?  I’m not saying that anyone would think that Triple H would get beaten up by anyone this close to Wrestlemania, but a tleast pick someone who COULD do something.

Match – Evan Bourne vs Sheamus (c)

So Evan Bourne got a big win over Sheamus a couple weeks ago, and now this is his comeuppance, right?  Way to kill his momentum…

Outcome – Sheamus wins a relatively short match with the Bro Kick to the head of Evan Bourne, with Bourne barely getting up off the mat to receive the honor

After the match, Daniel Bryan shows up and says he intends to invoke his rematch clause for the United States championship at Wrestlemania.  The American Dragon gets his response from Sheamus in the form of a Brogue Kick laying him out.

Oh thanks, WWE!  I was hoping you’d remind us about the terrible decision you made last week to have Mason Ryan also get beaten by Randy Orton, meaning that CM Punk won’t have anyone at ringside with him for the match.  So essentially the New Nexus was formed to help put over Randy Orton?  Great.

More sarcasm, which I’m hoping isn’t lost on my readers…


Randy Orton gets interviewed outside the arena, and apparently his family is traveling with him in a luxury tour bus, and he claims that he’s more sadistic than CM Punk

Maryse is in the ring, and tonight she’s sparkling more than normal, and it’s times like these that I wish I worked for the WWE’s sequin crew.  Over the course of her matches, Maryse is bound to lose some and need a repair, right?

Match – Maryse vs Eve Torres

I don’t know who made the decision that this match would primarily consist of hair pulling and smacks to the face and sad clotheslines, but these two DIVAs are far more talented than this.

Halfway through the match, Michael Cole interrupted and said he wanted to get the match over with so he could make some announcement.

Outcome – Eve Torres gets the win with some crazy swinging neckbreaker, pinning Maryse and making a large portion of the WWE Universe jealous (because we’d like to pin Maryse, or have Eve Torres pin us.  Either one)

After the match, Eve Torres gets in Michael Cole’s face, and I’m thinking that the DIVAs are going to have some impact on the Cole vs Lawler match.

Match – Santi-Koz vs The Corre (Gabriel & Slater)

Very early in the match, Santino looked like he was going to go for The COBRA, and The Corre avoided it and surprised no one.  Kozlov made a wrong move and they made him pay.

Outcome – Justin Gabriel got the win for The Corre with the 450 splash

After the match, Santino & Kozlov got beaten down by The Corre until Kane and Big Show appeared, and I think we’ve got our answer about a four-way at Wrestlemania like I mentioned in Friday’s article.

With the biggest diss on The Rock over the past few weeks being the fact that The Rock never shows up at the arena, how lame is it that tonight, John Cena’s promo is going to happen via Satellite?

Apparently The Rock is going to be at RAW next week, so any hopes of him showing up tonight should be extinguished.  Something most of us were hoping to see tonight…

In John Cena’s promo “via Satellite” (which I think might’ve actually been backstage), he basically says he has been under-estimating The Miz a bit too much, and that’s why The Miz has owned him over the past few weeks.  Cena says he’ll talk to The Rock face to face next week on RAW to settle any issues they might have, and he claims that he will make history at Wrestlemania.

After the commercial, Michael Cole and Jack Swagger are in the ring, Michael Cole has a mic, and he reminds people what happened the other week when Brian Christopher showed up (at Cole’s request), even showing the video clip for good measure.  I’ll try not to miss anything during this segment, but my eyes are rolling and my mouth is yawning and I’m holding back my frustration as these segments get several minutes each week while the United States championship and the World Tag Team Championships get almost nothing by comparison.

It ends about how you’d expect.  Swagger owns Lawler as Jerry gets agitated, and then when it looks like Lawler was going to get after Cole, Swagger owns him again and then Cole puts on an Ankle Lock.

Match – Dolph Ziggler (w/ LayCool & Vickie Guerrero) vs John Morrison (w/ Trish stratus)

The match progresses for a little while, the ladies get involved, and then the anonymous GM sets up an inter-gender tag match to take its place.

Match – John Morrison & Trish Stratus vs Dolph Ziggler, LayCool & Vickie Guerrero

So is there a reason why the GM decided it was a good idea to setup a 4-on-2 handicap match?  Is this a GM Heel turn?

How great was it when Josh Mathews took the page from Michael Cole’s playbook when he called “Vintage Stratus!” on the headstand hurricanrana?

Outcome – Vickie Guerrero pinned John Morrison after Ziggler hit a Zig-Zag while Trish Stratus is laid out on the arena floor

Still yet to come tonight is some sort of segment where The Miz will do something lame as he promises to “rewrite history”, and we’ve also got Rey Mysterio vs Randy Orton in a Wrestlemania Rewind match, which is likely to be the main event unless they bring Cody Rhodes into the fold and turn it into a tag match also involving CM Punk.  That would be the second time tonight they would’ve taken a singles match and turned it into a crazy tag… but I wouldn’t put it past them.

Is it just me, or are all of these Sin Cara promos all the same, just with different spinning backgrounds?  Gives me a little preview of things to come from a guy who might have 6 flashy moves, but that might be all he’s got, and we’ll feel like we’re just watching those promos every time Sin Cara has a match.

I’m not going to recap it, but WWE produced a promo for the Undertaker / Triple H match for Wrestlemania with a ton of other competitors (pas and present) giving their views of the impending match, and it definitely gives it a much bigger feel.  If there’s any doubt in your mind that the match between those two competitors will be the final match on the Wrestlemania 27 card, then you weren’t watching that promo.

Looks like The Miz is going to have his segment end the show, as Randy Orton is walking to the ring for this match now.

Match – Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio

If they were going to do a Wrestlemania Rewind match involving Rey Mysterio on RAW, why not have his opponent by CM Punk?  They battled last year, they’d be more natural opponents than Orton and Punk, and we could see Punk get some additional heat prior to Wrestlemania for a reason other than just being frustrated because his guys can’t beat Orton.  Seriously, though, does anyone have less momentum going into Wrestlemania than CM Punk?

How great was it when Randy Orton reversed the 6-1-9 into his rope-assisted DDT?  More and more each week they’re giving him great counters.

CM Punk showed up on the Titan Tron and goaded Randy Orton into running outside, leaving his match.

Outcome – No Contest

Getting a little bit of momentum for Wrestlemania, CM Punk shows up and blindsides Randy Orton by hitting him in the back of the leg with a wrench, then mocks Orton’s wife as she screams for help.

Still not great, but it’s a start.  They’ve got one last RAW to help take Punk up another notch.

When they realized that the only remaining portion of RAW was a segment with The Miz, how many people in the arena decided to beat the traffic and left early?

Did The Miz really just hold a segment to show us that he stopped the spinner belt upside down just so he could leave it in an M?

Is anyone else happy that the belt is no longer going to spin, even if it has landed upside down?

So John Cena wasn’t actually at home after all?  Apparently he was in the arena the whole time?  Notice my lack of exclamation points?  Think I was actually surprised?

Did The Miz really just throw a table at John Cena?

Is John Cena really attacking both The Miz and Alex Riley all at once?  Did he learn NOTHING from his previous beatdowns?!  He’s unsuccessful against the two of them, and when he finally gets the advantage, The Miz runs away before Cena can get to him, so he takes out his frustrations on Alex Riley.

So essentially this is ending the same way everything else with John Cena is ending?  Great.  Glad to see WWE “creative” kicks it into gear for the biggest show of the year.  More sarcasm, and RAW ends with Cena’s theme song.

Polls were added throughout the article.  Go vote!

You should also check out another article with a HOT poll that lots of folks are enjoying viewing the past few days (a final poll or two after the link)

Final polls!

And now, it’s time for you to share your thoughts about the parts of RAW which you didn’t like… or were at least let-down by.