Given what happened last night, were’s still under the COO-HHH era as RAW begins tonight. There are two new champions, five people who retained their championships, and I’m not so sure that fans are going to be happy about ANY of that.
No big write up about the speculation for what’s going to happen tonight. The article isn’t getting posted early and there’s no appetite to whet.
Down… to business.
CM Punk starts out the show limping, and I guess that’s why he couldn’t manage to put on a pair of long shorts, which is a shame because I was getting used to the idea that at least ONE guy on the roster was different enough to not have to wear tights everywhere.
After talking about his crappy WWE history in Cleveland and the bumps and bruises he has gathered in the past couple days, Punk starts to talk about there being a conspiracy… and he’s cut off by COO-HHH.
The Game doesn’t want to hear about the conspiracy and welcomes Punk to fight again… unti Punk says he wasn’t going to blame the conspiracy on the COO. As Punk starts to implicate a “higher power”, John Laurinitis shows up and tries to shut Punk up…
In fact, he tries to fire CM Punk.
COO-HHH’s not having any of that, yet again. In fact, he’s vowing to get to the bottom of it before the night is over.
No way is CM Punk going to get fired, and I’m guessing that Kevin Nash shows up and stops COO-HHH from firing anyone else… but we’ll find out as the night continues.
8-Man Tag Match
Air Boom & Sheamus & Justin Gabriel vs McGillicutty & Otunga & Christian & Wade Barrett
I’m not writing up a huge listing of everything that happened, but essentially chaos ensued, it came down to Sheamus and Christian, and when Christian realized it was time to head for the hills, Sheamus ends up dominating David Otunga, and the Celtic Warrior keeps his eyes locked on Captain Charisma
Not a bad match, but not a great one either. Maybe it’ll serve to set up something in the tag division.
So Alberto Del Rio isn’t happy about COO-HHH still being in power, and he’s also not excited about the announcement from the opening segment where COO-HHH announced the championship match at HELL IN A CELL would feature Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena vs CM Punk in a triple threat match.
COO-HHH offers to make the rematch with Cena tonight… and Alberto Del Rio says he needs to rest….
And then WWE sets up Alberto Del Rio to wrestle in the very next match.
John Morrison vs Alberto Del Rio
Silly me, I figured this might be a match where John Morrison does really well, maybe even gets a victory, or causes ADR to have to cheat to get the victory… but the way things shake out, it looks more like John Morrison might not be on the roster after tomorrow morning, because he gets one of the quickest beatings I’ve ever seen in a match where I don’t recall ADR cheating once, and he makes Morrison tap out.
If JoMo is on his way out, I hope they at least keep him around a little bit more and have him put over Dolph Ziggler and maybe a couple guys from Smackdown.
Speaking of Dolph Ziggler, he interrupts Hugh Jackman while Hugh tries to promote his REAL STEEL movie, and after Dolph gets upset that Vickie Guerrero was flirty with Hugh, Ziggler crosses the line and causes Hugh to say he’s going to find a great under-dog opponent to face Ziggler later tonight.
The fans want Zack Ryder, a decision I’m on board with, and Hugh goes so far as to grab a “Ryder > Wolverine” sign from the crowd before running backstage with it.
We’ll see what happens, but I’m thinking that before Survivor Series ends, Zack Ryder will be the next United States Championship.
Tonight’s RAW is a true SuperShow, as both matches so far have featured competitors from both shows… and the next one actually includes two guys from the Blue Show
Sin Cara vs Cody Rhodes
And before the match even begins, the other Sin Cara (one is apparently an imposter, but they both use the trampoline to enter the ring). If you haven’t been watching Smackdown… you likely have no idea what I’m talking about… and I don’t feel like making a 1994 SummerSlam / Undertaker reference.
Whatever the case, the Sin Caras beat the hell out of one another, I get a flashback to the old days of Monday Nitro, and Cody Rhodes? He’s nowhere to be found.
The evil Sin Cara seems o run for the hills, Cody Rhodes… doesn’t get involved and doesn’t get shown on camera, and that whole segment is over.
Backstage, R-Truth and The Miz are eating crow, apologizing to COO-HHH and begging to keep their jobs.
COO-HHH accepts their apologies and fines both of them $250k for attacking a WWE referee. And tonight, those guys will compete in a tag match against CM Punk and John Cena.
Jim Ross interviews Mark Henry, right before which he announces that Randy Orton has invoked his rematch clause for Hell In A Cell, and Mark Henry talks about how Jim Ross never showed him any respect.
Then Mark Henry decides to rough up Jim Ross… prompting Jerry Lawler to come to his aid… and then Jerry proceeds to get beaten down for the next five minutes.
If Jerry Lawler gets any substantive revenge on Mark Henry in the next four months, I’ll be disappointed.
As a sidenote, why do they still have the RAW General Manager podium if we haven’t heard from him since COO-HHH took over?
More proof that Randy Orton isn’t a great WWE Face? Not only did he NOT show up, but the fans weren’t even chanting his name to get him to help save Lawler.
Diva Tag Match
Eve & Kelly Kelly vs Natalya & Beth Phoenix
For some reason, WWE sees fit to continue to push Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres, this time giving them an ill-advised victory over the more talented Divas, who can’t seem to buy a victory over Kelly Kelly as of late.
Dolph Ziggler vs Zack Ryder
Plenty of false finishes, plenty of opportunity for Zack Ryder to show off some of his skills, and it was almost as if Dolph Ziggler wasn’t taking the match serious.
Vickie Guerrero gets thrown out halfway through the match, and then Hugh Jackman decides to get up onto the apron and he punches Dolph Ziggler in the jaw, leading directly to a victory by Zack Ryder.
A couple quick backstage segment: Jack Swagger is now a part of Vickie Guerrero’s stable as she agrees to be his manager, and CM Punk gets a visit from John Cena who says something… but the fans chanting is too loud to really understand what Cena was saying, but it sounded like he mentioned the fact that they’re facing each other in two weeks with the belt on the line, so he’ll be thinking about that in the match tonight.
Main Event Time
CM Punk & John Cena vs The Miz & R-Truth
So… teaming up R-Truth and The Miz, guys who want to be a tag team, to face two high profile competitors who don’t like each other and probably won’t work well as a tandem… is that COO-HHH’s idea of punishment? No wonder his wife’s initials are SMH.
And as you might’ve guessed, the two guys who can’t really stand one another and who are going to be fighting for the World Title in two weeks, end up winning the match.
In a slightly unexpected happening, COO-HHH shows up… and fires The Miz and R-Truth.
COO-HHH goes backstage, and he gets attacked by The Miz and R-Truth… an attack which doesn’t last long before the two recent firees get thrown out of the building. Literally.
Overall Grade:
Nothing too surprising happened, aside from the firing of The Miz, which I don’t expect to stick. The main event was interesting, but frustrating in how it was setup and executed. They did progress things with Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler… and anytime you get Zack Ryder on the show it’s a good thing… but all in all I was underwhelmed.
B-
Above average, but just barely.
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