COOPED UP: Sorry, Bradley, your one scene at an NFL game didn’t make Silver Linings Playbook a sports flick. We’ll just have to get creative now. Photo courtesy The Weinstein Company
This year was a particularly weak year for the world of sports in film. If we wanted to honor the best sports movies of 2012, Best Picture would probably have gone to Goon, a slapstick slapshot comedy about a guy who makes a career in hockey on his ability to fight alone.
So instead of honoring actual films, we thought we’d host the Sports Oscars and go directly to the source to hand out the awards. Sure, it took a little outside-the-box thinking as to how movie categories could apply to real world athletics, but I think it’s fair to say we made it work.
You already watched the ACTUAL Oscars, where there was virtually nothing about sports, but right now, here are our award winners for the past year in sports:
“Best Picture”
Success combined with entertainment and overall value, the team that put out the best product
Alabama Crimson Tide
In a whirlwind college football season that seemed to provide the final exclamation mark on the announcement that the BCS will soon be dead, the defending champs got upset relatively early, ran the gauntlet, and fought their way back to finish on top for the third time in four years.
REAL MEN DO CRY: During the playoffs, Ray Lewis played like he ate his Wheaties…and cried like he took too many estrogen injections. Photo courtesy Al Bello/Getty Images
“Actor in a Leading Role”
Best male star athlete that also seemed to be a magnet for the cameras as he took center stage
Ray Lewis, Baltimore Ravens Linebacker
His postseason charades turned him into one of the most polarizing figures this year in the NFL. However, whether you loved him or loathed him, you couldn’t NOT talk about Ray Lewis. When he was playing football, he looked like the ferocious headhunter that brought the Ravens their first championship in 2000. When he wasn’t, he was eating grass, crying, praying, and delivering a performance that could Daniel Day-Lewis’ portrayal of Abraham Lincoln to shame.
“Actress in a Leading Role”
Best female star athlete that also seemed to be a magnet for the cameras as she took center stage
Missy Franklin, Team USA Swimmer
The teenager flat-out nailed the role of ‘darling of the Olympics’ in London. As she broke the world record for the women’s 200-meter backstroke, becoming the first American to win the event since 1972, she flashed a smile so big it seemed to dam up the tears welling in her eyes. It was the high point of a week-long performance that made her America’s next sweetheart athlete. Oh, and don’t think we forgot about that reunion with her parents on the Today show. It was a scene made for Hollywood.
“Actor in a Supporting Role”
Best male athlete whose story captivated us briefly then quickly took a backseat to bigger headlines
I’ll Have Another, Racing Horse
I’ll Have Another temporarily captured the limelight as the strongest contender in years for the Triple Crown before injury ultimately robbed the thoroughbred of sports glory. During the two weeks in which I’ll Have Another won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes in May, it seemed he was all anyone could talk about. But the horse would never race again as he was pulled from the Belmont Stakes with a tendon injury. Shortly thereafter, he was sold to a breeding farm in Japan for $10 million.
15 MINUTES OF FAME: Sloane Stephens was the talk of the sports world…and then she lost and we forgot we ever cared. Photo courtesy Quinn Rooney/Getty Images
“Actress in a Supporting Role”
Best female athlete whose story captivated us briefly then quickly took a backseat to bigger headlines
Sloane Stephens, American Tennis Player
When the 19-year-old upset Serena Williams in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open last month, she was the biggest story in sports for about one news cycle. Then, Victoria Azarenka disposed of her with relative ease in the semifinals and we swiftly moved on. This “award” comes with a bit of an asterisk, though, since there hasn’t been another major tennis event since the Aussie Open. If Stephens makes another run in a grand slam later this year, it may not feel like she qualifies for a “supporting role” any longer.
“Best Director”
Coach of the year, plain and simple
Brian Kelly, Notre Dame Football Team
Even though his 2012 campaign didn’t have a storybook ending, Brian Kelly led the Fighting Irish to the only undefeated record amongst bowl-eligible teams of the regular season. It was the first time the Irish marched into a bowl game with a goose egg in the ‘L’ column since 1988 and, although they lost to Alabama in the BCS National Championship, the team finished with their highest final ranking in the AP Poll and the Coaches’ Poll since 1993.
“Best Documentary”
The best sports story of the year
‘The Rookies’ (Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson, Robert Griffin III, et al.)
The best sports story of the year is an ensemble one. 2012 provided us with the greatest across-the-board influx of first-year talent EVER. As in the beginning of time. Rookie of the Year races seemed parallel those for MVP. Even veterans like Tom Brady coyly tipped their hat to the youngsters. Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough for you, a freshman won the Heisman. Again, for the first time.
“Best Costume Design”
The coolest new uniforms of the year
Seattle Seahawks, National Football League
2012 actually was a big year for “costume design”. As always, every D-I college football team out there rolled out what felt like a dozen new uniforms (one for each game?), but apparel juggernaut Nike also took over on-field gear for the NFL. And while the faux-collar look was a bit of a miss, the brand’s overhaul of the Seattle Seahawks’ look was awesome. Or, in honor of Marshawn Lynch, perhaps we should say BEASTLY.
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NOTE: This story was originally published on SportsHead. To read this article and others, click here.
When Bryan isn’t writing, he is on Twitter! Make sure to give him a follow @bclienesch for sports updates and other shenanigans!
