#bandwagonjumper: In honor of WWE’s new found infatuation with Twitter and the 271 times it will be mentioned tonight, all categories from now on will be in the form of hashtags. Because not jumping on the bandwagon means this column is no longer cool and I would be betraying my journalistic integrity if I didn’t blindly grab onto the latest fad.

#pipebomb: That is such a wonderful sight, seeing Punk hold up the title. WWE can now resume being interesting again. We find out that he has wanted to be a pro wrestler since 1st grade with Ms Worth. Notice how he didn’t want to be a ‘sports entertainer’. All the internet critics can rest since Punk says the hot potato title game is over and it is where it belongs. I couldn’t agree more. At least we know with Punk as Champ things will be alot more intriguing and won’t follow the same bland formula of the past. He starts to talk about Funkman before the man himself comes out and its a bit hard to hear his rasping over the shower of boos. In berating Ace, Punk says something that has bothered me for a long time. He says its not the ‘WWE Universe’ because its not a universe at all, they’re fans. I’ve never liked the whole ‘Universe’ label because it’s a corny label when ‘the fans’, ‘WWE fans’ or ‘the audience’ works just as well. So Johnny’s way of showing Punk his wildside is to announce that Del Rio gets his rematch next week on RAW? And then booking Punk against Ziggler in a Champ v Champ match. For such a corporate stooge, that is pretty radical. As Punk exits to the back, Ace starts to text on the entrance stage! They must really want that to be part of his gimmick.

#areyouseriousbro: The ‘Fans’ want Ryder to get his US Title shot, but instead Funkmam gives him a shot at Del Rio? At least he snatches the mic away from Ricardo during the latter’s ADR intro. This continual denial of the US match to Ryder reminds me alot of how heel authority figures used to handle faces back in the day, particularly during the Attitude Era, putting obstacle after obstacle in their path. Of course Del Rio wins with the CAB after softening it up, as if the Ryder marks thought there would be a different outcome.

#blindedbythelight: I’m convinced that if the right type of lights were used on stage, then Sheamus’ paleness would indeed blind viewers, or at least make it really hard to watch his matches. On an interesting side note, the WWE Twitter graphic gets some static and shows a URL that takes one to a very interesting video. I’ll let you all find out about it for yourselves. But I digress, and The Great White is facing Swagger as a sort of fall out from the SS team match. Swagger does show off his amateur wrestling skills as well as getting Sheamus in the Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring. But of course Sheamus rolls out of it and comes back with a Brogue Kick for the win.

#kliqkliqkliq: Could we be headed for it again? With Nash mentioning the infamous MSG incident, it certainly seems like it. But instead, Diesel just uses it as an excuse to whine about how Triple H  ‘betrayed’ their friendship and how he was taken out by his own sledgehammer. Nothing really special and he didn’t even come down to the ring to cut the promo, instead staying up on the stage. Big Show does the same stage promo later on and it accomplishes nothing as well.

#stilldashing: You could say that Rhodes still is ‘Dashing’ seeing as he looks the same as during his Dashing gimmick. It’s good to see that the loss of his mask hasn’t had an effect on his mic skills as he cuts a short but good promo before being interrupted by Santino. Mr Cobra apparently has a match against Cody, but it’s still kind of a buzzkill. A good deal of the match commentary is spent on Booker’s ‘issue’ with Cody. Oh and Cody wins in like a minute. Not to leave it at that, Rhodes goes to the commentary table and starts talking trash to Booker before tossing water in his face. If that doesn’t scream feud, then I don’t know what does. Points to Cole for asking for a towel because he got some water on him.

#champvchamp: Ziggler is absolutely ready to move up to the main event. He’s shown in the past few months good in ring skills to go along with vastly improved mic skills. He was always decent on the mic but his work on Ryder’s YouTube show was really the start of the ascent. This should be a pretty good match since Ziggler will be working with #bestintheworld. Interesting that Cole mentions Dolph’s WHC ‘reign’ and the fact that he was a tag champ, though the Spirit Squad was absent from that nugget of info. Cole then mention Punk as a 5 time World Champ, neglecting to mention he is a 7 time champ. His time as ECW champ was not mentioned since WWE wants to forget about that ‘brand’ and Punk’s ROH Title because the company wants you to think it’s the only wrestling company in the world. Dolph and Punk are really putting on a great mat-based match, interrupted by Vickie blowing Punk a kiss, which is both amusing and horrifying at the same time. Dolph’s best spot has to be when he is on Punk’s shoulder about to get the GTS, but instead counters it into a sleeper hold and has people believing he could win. Punk eventually brings him back into the GTS prep position before a roll up attempt by Ziggler. The great back and forth ends with a Punk GTS for the win. It was certainly one of the best RAW matches in a long time.

#barrettbarrage: Thankfully Team Barrett won and Barrett surviving, as well as Cody, will be a huge step on his upward momentum. I really do hope he’s inserted into the WHC picture, though he probably won’t take it off fellow heel Mark Henry unless it’s a multi-man match. With Daniel Bryan lurking in the background with MITB, a Barrett-Bryan WHC match at Wrestlemania has potential. The only noteworthy thing about Barrett’s match with Kofi is that Orton comes out at one point and just stares at Wade, who freaks out a bit. I know I would if Randall was staring me down and if he started pounding the ground, I’d make myself scarce.

#really?: A Cena promo in the main event slot? He can’t say he doesn’t hog the spotlight anymore. Words cannot express how disappointed I am that Rock and Cena won last night. I mean I kind of knew it was coming, but was naively hoping for more. It would have been the perfect opportunity for the Cena heel turn that is more mythical then The Holy Grail, Mjolnir or Excalibur. The Cena-Rock Wrestlemania match cannot be face v face if it wants to be effective. This entire promo has pretty much been a recap until Awesome Truth show up. They bad mouth Cena before he finally gets a little bit of attitude. Cena saying that no one cares about TruMiz is what WWE really wants us to think because they want all the attention on their Golden Boy. Cena tells Miz and Truth what the other one ‘says’ about the other, mind games which we don’t usually see from Superman. TruMiz end up getting into after Cena leaves with Miz SCFing Truth on the ramp. So much for Awesome Truth.