Sorry loyal readers for being a day late, but life got in the way. And, I’ll say it again….HA HA HA HA HA HA HA….moral of the story in the NBA finals, don’t celebrate your championship until you actually win it. Thumbs up LaBron/Wade/Bosh.

But, I’m done making fun of the funny. Let’s move on to something really important – wrestling – because there’s a ton going on:

— Lets start with TNA for no other reason than it’s on my mind.
There’s really no point in talking about IMPACT last Thursday because, well, Slammiversary kind of wiped out any relevant things I could say about it. However, the first 15 minutes seemed really cobbled together in an attempt to make up for the fact that Mick Foley asked for was granted his release. Bischoff and Hogan started the whole thing saying they are really working hard to make TNA good, and they are being told by the network that they have to now love the X-Division. Obviously, this wasn’t the idea that was going to be in play…it was Foley that was supposed to support the X Division while Bischoff and Hogan ripped it apart.

In addition, Sting came out and told those two that he must retain the title at Slammiversary to protect IMPACT from the cancer that is Eric Bischoff…while also saying the fans miss the Hulk Hogan of yesteryear.
Now, first, after this promo, it really makes no sense to me that they would put the belt on Anderson at Slammiversary. I mean, I’m all for it – I think Anderson deserves the opportunity to make it happen – however, you kind o f make Sting “the hero that can’t get it done.”

But, at the same time, I also think this entire storyline could turn out to be something interesting. In giving Hogan a face turn – which is what they were teasing – you could actually churn out a semi-decent storyline if Bischoff and Hogan started butting heads trying to vie for control of IMPACT. Hogan stepping into the now-discarded Foley role and working to get rid of Bischoff is – intriguing. I’m hoping they go this route, but knowing of Bischoff’s love affair with Hogan, I’m not putting much hope that he’ll run a program against his longtime friend. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Other than that, as I mentioned, Mr. Anderson won the belt at Slamiversary…and will face number one contender Kurt Angle at the next PPV. (Angle, of course, got there by beating Jeff Jarrett.) With that being said, TNA did the one thing that absolutely PISSES ME OFF in the world of wrestling…the world title was not the main event of the show, and, instead, the fourth PPV match between Angle and Jarrett was shoved in the main event slot and ended the evening of wrestling.


At a PPV like the Royal Rumble, I can understand WHY they would put the world championship in a different spot than in the “end of the show” main event slot. The Rumble should be the main event, where as the world/WWE championship should be the FIRST match of the night. However, unless you have a huge gimmick match like the RR, there is never, ever a time when the match of the night should be in the second to last spot. If you do this, you are basically saying your company’s world title is not as important as THESE TWO GUYS THAT ARE FIGHTING FOR NOTHING!!!

Yet, here is the rookie mistake of a company that doesn’t understand the basics of public relations and perceptions. Want another classic example of how TNA can be just so damn stupid sometimes? WRESTLING matters…

You cant tell me wrestling matters when your wrestlers spend more time with a microphone in their hands than they do wrestling.

In doing that, I – and the rest of the wrestling fans in the world – see through your little ploy as nothing more than a way of trying to bank on the WWE’s decision to drop wrestling from their title. We see your cheap antics for what it is.

In making the main event Angle/Jarrett over Sting/Anderson, you have effectively shown us that the battle to become the number one contender is more important than the battle f your company’s biggest title. And, how in the fuck is that, in any way, good for the company?

Other than that, the only two additional things I can say about TNA is that – 1) Angle kept his OLYMPIC MEDAL (DUM DUM DUM) by defeating Jeff Jarrett in the “main event” of Slamiversary – still irritated. And, 2) Someone in TNA decided that pulling the woman’s title OFF Mickie James and onto the “hypnotized” Angelina Love was a really dumb idea, therefore, the belt stayed with Mickie. Unfortunately, I don’t think this will be the end of this stupid storyline…after all, Spike wants chicks lip-locking…and someone decided the only way to make that happen is through gay-assed hypnotism.

— I’m gong to take a page out of the WWE’s book and combine Raw and SD onto one thing here, thus leaving me more time to preview Capital Punishment at the end.
I have to admit a mistake from about six weeks ago – I’m totally digging R-Truth. Every once in awhile, WWE catches lightning in a bottle, does something off the wall, and it makes me laugh my fucking ass off. And R-Truth has become it And, seriously, I can’t believe I’m saying that. I mean, here’s a guy who took the intensity that Randy Orton has tried to become for a decade now, mixed it with the stupidity of a character like Eugene, and knocked the damn thing out of the park. In one month, he’s made so many memories in the ring, that he’s absolutely upstaging anyone on any show. His strung out, strange nod to the fans when saying “I’m sorry” and his constant listening to the wants of the audience is just fucking golden…and, he can flip a switch from funny to scary in no time flat. He’s pure golden. And they have absolutely given him his chance to shine.

So, credit the WWE Creative for sticking with a character long enough to make him go over in a way that should turn into pure epicness.

Now, I seriously hope someone, somewhere is seeing what the rest of us is seeing and continues his push. Burying him at the hands of John Cena and the companies need to keep the WWE belt on the “Kid’s Champion” is just ridiculous. Yes, they want to have Cena with the belt for Rock/Cena at Wrestlemania – so it can be the main event, thus the match can be at the end of the show (another dig at TNA)…but that’s a whole damn year away. By giving Truth the belt now, you have plenty of time to get it back to Cena before the match in Florida.
Besides, this isn’t your daddy’s WWE anymore…this is the post-attitude era, so giving one person the belt for a year is absolutely unheard of. Yes, I know they want to make a statement and show Cena can carry the title for 12 months – but what’s the point? Let other people play with it for a while, then let the big kid back in the sandbox and claim the trophy in about six months. There’s no harm and no foul in seeing what R-Truth can do with the big spinning belt buckle.

In addition, I am also SOO GLAD they made Christian heel, and using Michael Cole as his mouthpiece to speak to the now ignored “peeps” was golden Friday night. Here’s another guy that deserves time to play with the big belt, but rather than the character claiming the prize, I think its because the WWE has run out of time with Christian in the top main event category. Sunday will be the third time that Christian and Orton have faced each other for the belt, and doing it a fourth time is just stupid. (The rule of three is something I’ll get too when I’m not so pressed for time.) So, for me, it’s now or never…either give Christian the title or push him down the ladder, give Randy someone else to play with for awhile, then pull Christian back up in about six months.

Miz has also been outstanding, and he really, REALLY, shined on Monday night in promos with SCSA and Roddy Piper. And, while I like the idea that’s going on with Alex Riley, I’m afraid A-Ry is going to fizzle and fade after his thing with the Miz is over. I mean, Riley is decent, don’t get me wrong, but this is a storyline built on rage and reaction. It’s been Miz’s douchiness that has pushed Riley as high as he is now, but once he’s forced to stand on his own character, I think he’ll be stuck in a year of mid-card hell before he goes the way of Zach Ryder. But, the Miz has shown me he has the ability to carry anyone to a decent storyline…his absolutely douchedness in the face of SCSA and Roddy Piper on Monday carried each segment.

The bad things I have with Raw on Monday and SD Friday were really relatively minor. 1) Why in the hell do they continue to push these three rookie Diva’s in my face when there is so little caring going on. There are so many semi-capable workers (all be it for the Diva division) around. Alicia Fox isn’t doing anything, Melina isn’t doing anything…I said Maryse last week and, worse, Neidhardt is IN EACH SEGMENT, yet hasn’t wrestled. Yet, I keep getting AJ and – um – whatever the fuck her name is shoved down my throat – or I get a fucking seven woman tag team match that turns out to be a dumb assed, no tag, quick pin thing. It’s almost dumb.
Look, you have Beth Phoenix, you have Nattie Niedhardt…you have Alicia, Rosa and a few other workers. Stop forcing me to watch these rookies. I’m not impressed…give me a REAL match…let Niedhardt fight the Jimmy Snuka’s daughter or something…turn this whole thing into a real storyline. Or give me some eye candy to watch. But, this latest round of stupidity…its just stupid.

While I’m at it…WWE is blowing it with Sin Cara. I can already see how, inside of a year, he’s going to be another Taka Michinoku…he has all this hype about him – and he can live up to it when storylines stay out of the way and he just wrestles. But, the WWE starts to frown on him because he doesn’t wrestle some weird “WWE form of entertainment” and gets buried on a show where they desperately NEEDS stars. Maybe – just maybe – they should capitalize on what they do have in the guy, and not force him to change into some fucked up mold of what they think a wrestler should be. Or – here’s a whacky idea – let him and Rey Rey become a tag team. I really do see how teaming with Rey could definitely help his character on the show.

Speaking of Show – he’s back from a knee injury. Seems like it didn’t take as long to heal as originally thought, since he was only run over by Del Rio’s car a month ago and here he is running out to cause some damage Monday. In addition, Johnny Morrison also mocked an appearance for Monday, though did the “I was beat up in the back” segment to avoid any in ring bumps. But, him showing up showed us that he’s about 2 to 4 weeks from a full time return.

— How about some quick (or semi-quick) news bites?

Probably the best – and funniest – news I’ve heard all week is something I glanced over last week and blew off as Jim Hellwig being the crazy Ultimate Warrior that I know he is.

But, with that being said, on Friday, Hellwig said in a preview video right here that he will release uncensored video of Hulk Hogan being a complete backstabbing douche. Allegedly, inside of the video will be a shit load of bombshells against Hogan, including proof that Hogan and his estranged wife were having sex with the friends outside of wedlock (each pushing the other to fuck something else), had sex with friends of their kids, that Hogan threw Randy Savage under the bus for being a douche, and that Hogan and his wife were snorting coke like a pair of Dyson vacuum cleaners during Hogan’s golden years.

In response, Hogan allegedly filed some sort of defamation of character lawsuit to try and stop the video from getting out, but Hellwig is ignoring it and plans on releasing whatever is on Youtube anyway.

Why would Warrior ignore said lawsuit, you may ask? Because, in the long run, if this does go to court, Hogan will have to go on the stand to defend that he isn’t as big of a douche as the Warrior claims in whatever video is being released. This means Hellwig’s lawyers will undoubtedly grill Hogan on every shitty rumor is out there, and Hogan will have to swear UNDER OATH that he has never had sex with any of his daughters friends, never did steroids, and wasn’t sucking on illegal narcotics – no to mention whatever else Hellwig claims in the as yet to be released video.

Needless to say that, Hogan won’t push the lawsuit to the “let’s go to court” phase, where I think Hellwig will absolutely be willing to sit in front of a jury and say whatever is on his mind.

When he realized the defamation of character lawsuit was being ignored, Hogan tried to fight fire with fire and claimed Hellwig worked as a male escort prior to working for the WWE. Warrior laughed it off for what it was, and instead fired back in saying that he was the only “escort” to turn down having sex with Hogan’s wife. ~ZING!!

If there’s one thing that Roddy Piper has taught me, its that the crazy fucking crack pots with absolutely nothing to lose will drop dime on someone just to gain notoriety. And, they’ll do it within the confines of the truth…so my feeling is that, whatever the hell Warrior says Friday may not be ENTIRELY accurate, but will have some form of truth within it. And, in turn, Hogan is going to be raked over the coals.

Bottom line, Jim Hellwig is a complete nut job…a total freak who probably BELIEVES he is, in fact, the Ultimate Warrior. But, the rub is that, because of his looney bin status, he has no problem dropping dime on the world famous Hulk Hogan and showing shit that Hogan absolutely does not want to get out.

So, for my money, I’m betting portions of the shit said Friday is…but worse, public perception will overwhelmingly hurt Hogan’s career.

Either way, I’m gonna be sitting in front of my computer on June 17th with a big bag of popcorn WAITING for this damn thing to be released, then I’m going to giggle my fucking ass off and, probably, start making fun of Hogan on Twitter. Oh – yea…I have a twitter at S_C_Jerk, in case you’re wondering.

— As long as were talking about old wrestlers, Kevin Nash was arrested this week on suspicion of battery in Florida. Seems some drunk bastard went at Nash with a beer bottle, so Nash took the guy out. However, when cops showed, they arrested the big bastard with tattoos holding a beer bottle. The good news, though, is that there was a lack of evidence against Nash, so the charges against him were dropped. Diesel said he was protecting his wife and, in turn, himself from said drunken douche trying to get him some of Nash, and honestly, I can see Nash’s perspective where that might be a problem for world famous older wrestlers. Here’s hoping for the best for him.

—Zach Ryder – or more specifically, fans and friends of Zach Ryder – were flat out pissed this week after Long Island Z was left off Raw – in Ryder’s hometown of Long Island. Dolph Ziggler stood up for his buddy, saying the company “kicked [Ryder] in the nuts” while Chris Jericho went to Twitter and said it was “So LAME that WWE didn’t include @ZackRyder on Raw last night. No reason not to!! Wrestling is supposed to be FUN remember? Time to riot…”

I gotta agree with Jericho and Ziggler. Once again, I point out that Ryder has busted his ass to become something special in social media, and the WWE continues to miss the boat on what they have here. At a time when their company is losing money while trying to build talent, here you have a guy who is reaching mainstream via social media, yet he is ignored. Again, I’ll ask WWE to put the fucker on SD and let him play.
Oh, and Ryder showed class through it all, saying on Twitter “I wasn’t on Raw…(besides all the Ryder signs and chants)…but you can catch me this Thursday on WWE Superstars.”

— Drew Hankinson, formerly Luke Gallows in WWE, had a dark match against Gunner at Impact this week. Its unclear if a contract was offered following the match.

— Wanna see something?
First, listen to the speech patterns of the former TNA and WWE champion as he jumps around and mumbles something that I couldn’t even understand. Then, lets try and figure out how HUGE this is going to be with any jury deciding on whether this former champion should be Bubba’s next prison bitch.

Congrat’s Jeff…this video wont do much but elongate your prison sentence later this month. Moron.

— In the (shrug) department – original NXT cast member Michael Tarver, Jacob Novak were released by the WWE, along with developmental talents Ethan Levin, Buck Dixon and Buddy Stetcher. It’s believed the releases were made to save money, along with the signing of incoming Tough Enough talents. In case you care, Buck Dixon is the son of former WWE wrestler Henry Godwinn.

—Okay, Capital Punishment is Sunday, and it looks like the WWE has a semi-decent stacked card.
As I already mentioned, Christian is expected to take on Orton for the World title, however, there is stunning news that could derail this match.

According to various sources, Orton has suffered an ACTUAL, LEGITIMATE concussion while SD brand was in Madrid, Spain. This was the reason Orton wasn’t allowed to wrestle on Monday Night, and could put his match in jeopardy for Capital Punishment. As of now, WWE management have not made a decision about whether Orton will compete Sunday. In case you don’t get it, former wrestler and TE talent Chris Nowitski is still doing his concussion syndrome thing, and in light of past problems, the WWE is taking concussions very seriously. When a talent is diagnosed with said concussion, he’s kept out for at least two weeks, longer if needed. Under the circumstances, don’t be shocked if Randy is run over by the proverbial car on Sunday night.

In the meantime, Cena is facing R-Truth, which will be awesome if they take my advice and put the belt on Truth.

Ziggler is meeting Kingston for the US title (shrug), while Barrett is facing Jackson again, this time without the Corre at Barrett’s side. Another smart move would be to put the belt on Jackson, thus freeing Barrett for a chance to run up the ladder a bit, Show is returning to face Del Rio in what I expect will be a quicker than usual match because show is still healing a plethora of injuries. Miz, of course, faces Riley while Mysterio and CM Punk will bring another highlight reel to the show.

Wrestling wise – it could be a good show, but not enough for me to plunk down the $54 that Direct TV wants me to pay. I’ll check it out via recaps then go over the results during the next weekly wrap up.

That’s it…feedback is also welcome (by anyone other than Scott from Westchester that is. STOP STALKING ME!!!)