July 12th brings the final RAW before the Money In The Bank pay per view.  Who will replace R-Truth in the RAW ladder match?  What impact will Nexus have tonight?  What in the world is Florence Henderson doing hosting RAW?  Will John Cena survive the handicap match?  Let’s find out.

Remember, this is part recap, part humor.


John Cena said last week that he intends to take ach member of the Nexus down. Could you imagine how long and drawn out it would be if he means individually? Seven different matches? Would he start with Michael Tarver, arguably the lowest member on the totem pole? Or would he go right for Wade Barrett to start, getting rid of the tough one at the beginning?

Will tonight’s 7-on-1 handicap match count? I wouldn’t think so. If so, I question Cena’s resolve.

Like Bizarro World?

Well I guess John Cena taking out Darren Young last week, leaving him injured for tonight’s program and unable to compete, means it’s now a 6-on-1, so I guess that might count as taking them on one by one.

How much easier would John Cena’s job be in taking out Nexus if they really couldn’t see him. And if John Cena wants to use that catch phrase, could he have picked a worse color for a shirt? Day-glow orange?

I think his next shirt should be covered in LED lights.

For all the times that a RAW crowd has chanted “What?”, why didn’t they respond that way when John Cena promised to rip Sheamus’ face off and “replace it with his butt”?

When John Cena says he fell through a table on accident the first time Sheamus won the World Title, did he just give away the real reason for the outcome of that match?

If John Cena were to have referenced the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki while he was talking about taking out every single member of Nexus, would the fans have cheered the concept of millions of people dying 65 years ago?

Oh look, the email notification is STILL tied into the arena’s lights.

Did Michael Cole really just inform us that the email he got was from the General Manager?

The General Manager is going to suspend any Nexus member for 90 days who gets involved in the handicap match without being tagged in. Would that count as John Cena taking out that member, or would he have to wait 90 days to get full revenge?

Can you imagine the weekly count-down?

Hey Gillette Fusion ProGlide… enough with the “tug & pull” lockerroom talk. Some of us try to ignore commercials (even though we have DVR… we have to type during commercials) and the words we’re hearing from your commercials are making us more likely to buy the Schick Hydro.

What are the odds that Gillette owns Schick and they’re counting on people buying one product based on not enjoying the opposite commercials?

(a little bit of research could go a long way)

Wow, Jerry Lawler sitting next to Eve, after last week getting to sit next to Maryse? Totally unfair.

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Does anyone remember that a decade ago, the first Diva to expose her breasts on WWE television, “Kat”, was actually dating (or possibly even married) to Jerry Lawler at one time?

When they say that Gail Kim is a former Women’s champion, are they going all the way back to her first run in WWE? I can’t remember her winning it since returning from TNA.

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If Alicia’s finisher is going to be an axe kick “to the back of the head”, she might want to do a better job of aiming.

The back is not the back of the head. The back is the back. In fact, Alicia Fox might not have even hit ribs.

How awkward would it have been if the General Manager’s email had mentioned that Alicia Fox was going to defend the Diva’s Championship against someone OTHER than Eve Torres?

Do I lose guy points for fast-forwarding through a preview for The Expendables? Does it make up for it if I make sure there’s an article about it on my website, http://www.GuysNation.com?

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Why in the world would Florence Henderson be the guest host of RAW?

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During this Hart Dynasty vs Usos six-person tag match, half the commentary was used to explain who the parents of each of these competitors are. Can you imagine twenty years from now how long and drawn out that’s going to be? We’ve already got a few third generation competitors (such as Ted DiBiase and Michael McGuillicutty).

Chris Jericho walking away from Josh Matthews? Not exactly what we mean by “Rear View”.

Is there any odds that David Otunga wanted to be the one to attack Yoshi Tatsu because he’s jealous of his hair? About the only thing “The A Lister” hasn’t done would be to dye part of it blonde.

I’m going to watch SALT because Angelina Jolie is awesome, but how confusing are those trailers? Some of them have her claiming that she’s innocent and being setup. Other trailers show her in full-on killing action. Others show… both?

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At what point will people be happy to see Ted DiBiase simply because he’s got Maryse on his arm? If he wants some heel heat, he should get the microphone and say he left her backstage so the fans couldn’t ogle her.

(ogle while you can)

How much is Ted DiBiase loving this angle? he should give his dad a huge gift on every occasion possible. Without his father, there’s very little chance a woman as hot as Maryse would hang out with him.

Another mis-use of the slow-motion. How about Maryse walks out to the ring with John Morrison sometime?

Claiming that Maryse doesn’t shower is one of the only ways to make her seem less hot… though it really only lasts for a moment. Back to hot again.

How unlikely is it, even with the attention being placed on them now, that either John Morrison or Ted DiBiase will win this RAW Money In The Bank match?

Santino’s Bunch? Regal’s Bunch? What in the world could Florence Henderson be hawking these days to make this worth it? Oh well, at least this gives Doink The Clown some air-time.

What kind of crazy genepool would there have to be for two people to have the following children: Zack Ryder, Primo Colon, and Doink the Clown?

How about: Great Khali, Vladimir Kozlov, and Goldust?

How long until someone makes a reference to wanting some of Florence Henderson’s “pie”? The Rock would’ve made that reference.

Did ANYONE catch the “Regal Regal Regal” / “Marsha Marsha Marsha” reference? Or even the “cousin Oliver” mention?

William Regal’s got it right, Florence Henderson doesn’t belong as the host of RAW. The fact that they keep making Brady Bunch reference proves that. Does anyone disagree?

Did anyone in the WWE Universe catch the Partridge Family comment and understand what it meant?

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How many times does WWE need to remind “the Universe” how many times Edge has won two Money In The Bank matches already? I think this is the fourth time in three weeks.

How lucky was Edge that in 2006 John Cena won the Elimination Chamber match with time still remaining in the pay per view so he could cash it in that night?

Did anyone notice that in the same work week, Edge and Christian BOTH attacked their tag team partners? First Edge attacks Chris Jericho, then on Smackdown Christian attacked Matt Hardy.

Michael Cole just said that no matter what Orton and Edge do to each other tonight, it will pale in comparison to what happens in the Money In The Bank match. Is that so? What if one of these guys die in the ring, or break their jaw or split their head open and need stitches. How could the Money In The Bank match do something to make that pale in comparison?

Why would Chris Jericho want to help Edge win his match against Randy Orton? Just to attak him? Why not wait until Orton is gone, then do whatever he wants without the potential for payback?

When you saw Evan Bourne involved in the stuff with Randy Orton, Chris Jericho and Edge, were you thinking “one of these things is not like the others”?

Was the RKO from Randy Orton in mid shooting star press (Air Bourne) the coolest move you’ve ever seen, or just ONE of the coolest?

Another person who won’t look Josh Matthews in the face while he’s interviewing them? And Skip Sheffield just walks away?! “Rear View” Josh Matthews gets no respect.

How lucky is John Morrison that those doors he was thrown into by Skip Sheffield the kind which open inward?

How much do these Nexus segments seem like fraternity initiations gone wrong? Guys egging each other on to do something they didn’t seem likely to do otherwise. Letters on their chest. The fact that no one likes them aside from people who also have the same letters on their chest.

How much flack am I going to take for that frat comment? Hopefully Bleacher Report has readers who aren’t in the greek system.

Was Mark Henry chosen to be in the Money In The Bank match as a train wreck option, or did someone really think he’d be better at climbing a ladder than some of the people who aren’t already in the match?

If the laptop used to view the GM’s emails got busted when The Miz threw Mark Henry into it, does that mean the lights aren’t going to blink when he (or she) tries to make a ruling?

If Mark Henry is too injured to compete in the Money In The Bank match for RAW, would one of his progeny get the chance? How about that rubberhand from a decade ago?

Actually, I hope no one remembers that.

John Cena vs Sheamus, in a steel cage, and “no outside interference”? Is that accurate, or would the people interfering have to just climb up over the cage, or enter through the door? Slowing them down doesn’t mean stopping them.

How awesome is it that Doink gets to compete? If that’s what happens when Florence Henderson hosts RAW, I’ll take that each week.

Did Florence Henderson really just show how springy the ring is by hopping on it like a trampoline?

Why did Doink hold his stomach when he got forearmed in the face? I guess that’s why he isn’t a regular fixture on RAW.

How much more heat does Michael Cole get from the IWC by saying Doink should go back to where he came from?

(someone should start a petition to get Doink to be on the RAW roster, or even Smackdown, if not NXT)

Florence Henderson makes out with Great Khali instead of Santino? Either she doesn’t like unibrows or SIZE DOES MATTER!

Another “Rear View” Josh Matthews interview, and is it possible that Edge – one of the more disrespectful competitors on the roster, a guy who admits (during this interview, actually) that he has no morals – actually looked Josh Matthews in the eyes almost the entire time?

LOL @ Edge saying “you need eyes in the back of your head” during the interview. Unintentionally funny.

When Edge says he has a secret, something he has that’s going to get him the win at Money In The Bank, and that his secret is a voice inside his head that talks to him… does he realize that not only is he not the only one who that applies to in WWE, but that it’s actually the main concept of Randy Orton’s theme song?

As it looked like Nexus was going to attack Sheamus and the pale warr… I mean Celtic Warrior ran away, how much did that damage his mistique?

Why doesn’t Michael Tarver wrestle with his facemask on? He looks far more dangerous with it on.

What would be the harm in John Cena getting himself disqualified in this match?

Why would Nexus decide to put Justin Gabriel into the match before John Cena really gets hit at all. Skip Sheffield, the next entrant, was a much better choice.

Why would it not be good for John Cena to end up in the Nexus corner? Doesn’t the stipulation involve the fact that they’re not allowed to touch him unless they’re legally in the match? Furthermore, why wouldn’t the RAW GM be able to enforce his stipulation? It shouldn’t have to be reliant on the referee spotting something. A RAW roster member could show up, knockout the referee or even kidnap the referee, and then the rest of the RAW roster could show up and beatdown Nexus if they wanted to, if it all relies on the referee.

Michael Cole claims that the entire locker room is running scared from Nexus… but as far as I remember, Evan Bourne and John Morrison didn’t run. John Morrison fought back. A week ago, Randy Orton didn’t run anywhere. The only one I can remember who ran was Sheamus.

How much did it hurt the Money In The Bank pay per view main event to have Sheamus and John Cena protecting each other to end the show? They should’ve gone a different direction, and now I’m less interested in seeing their cage match than I was before.