INTERNATIONAL SEDATION: The Jaguars are more likely to put prospective NFL fans to sleep than anything else. Photo courtesy Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images

Are you a Jaguars fan? Do you know one? Do you know someone who knows one?

Quite frankly, spotting one seems to be like finding Big Foot or the Kardashian family’s dignity. But new owner Shad Khan believes they’re out there, and he’s willing to search the globe Carmen San Diego-style to find them. The only problem is, if THIS doesn’t work, there might be nothing left to do but pack up and leave.

The Jaguars signed a deal that would have them play one “home” game overseas in London for four straight seasons starting next year. The logic sort of works like this: everyone who already likes football probably doesn’t like the Jaguars. Roger Goodell and the NFL want to increase the sport’s international popularity. And, by forcing them to watch a miserable squad for almost half a decade, maybe the Brits will develop some sort of Stockholm Syndrome and become Jags fans.

It’s a nice theory, but it’s got some holes to it. First off, Jacksonville will STILL have trouble filling their stadium. They’ve already pulled tarps over droves of seats, pretending they don’t exist like a pack of disavowed children in ‘Among the Hidden’, now you’re going to get your new influx of fans from across the pond? If you can’t get people to come in from Lakeside, how the hell do you expect people to fly in from Glasgow.

The obvious answer is that they don’t. Actually, Jacksonville’s front office believes the scheme WILL help, because it knocks the total number of home games actually played IN Florida down to seven, which would make season ticket packages cheaper. Maybe it works, but if I can’t afford a car, I’m not going to have them take a piece of the engine out and pretend I’m getting a deal.

The second problem is, if Roger Goodell wants to broaden the NFL’s popularity, using the Jaguars as your prized bull seems sort of ridiculous. Let me make a comparison: soccer in the United States is a lot like football internationally. There is real potential for horizons to broaden, but so far it’s only a niche fan base that has caught on. What’s going to make soccer popular stateside are clubs like Manchester United and Barcelona and Real Madrid. No one is ever going to get into soccer watching Southend United.

And, really, aren’t the Jacksonville Jaguars the perfect metaphor for a relegation squad? Because, if Shad Khan and the Jags can’t find away to make money in a small market in an overcrowded football state, the turquoise tomcats may have to move to whichever market is willing to take them.

NOTE: This story was originally published on SportsHead. To read this article and others click here.
When Bryan isn’t writing, he is on Twitter! Make sure you give him a follow @bclienesch for NFL updates and other shenanigans!