I’m going to do things a little different today because honestly, well, its my party and I can poop if I want to.

Actually, the real reason is because there’s something I’ve wanted to write for awhile now, and after what happened Monday, there is no better time.

Today I’m going to do the news bites and a quick Summer Slam preview as usual, but I’m not going to do recaps. Maybe in future articles, but not this week.

Why? There are two reasons:

1) TNA sucks so bad that it has seriously reached a point where I just don’t want to talk about it.  Seriously… aside from Tessmacher, Christy Hemme and Velvet Sky, there is NOTHING redeeming on the show at all. Thursday’s show was JUST pathetic, so stupid that I just cant will myself to care about it in any way, shape or form. Aside from seeing some of the Knockouts act naughtier on that show than they’d be able to in the WWE, there is just no reason to even care about it. Worse, I don’t think they care. There are blogs out there that are just like this one that are just complaining about TNA and how bad it sucks… and there are other blogs out there that TELL them how to fix their shit, and Bischoff, Hogan, and the rest of them continue to make the same dumb mistakes that ensures people turn it off.  It feels like they don’t want their fans to spend time with them. The roster is good – I’ve always maintained that fact. Kurt Angle is easily one of the BEST wrestlers in the world, Jarrett is the same… Styles and Daniels can go anywhere and get over… and RVD will always be a legend in my mind. But yet, the damn group continues to focus on guys like Hogan and Bubba Ray and Bischoff – Immortal – and my God, it’s the same crap that destroyed WCW. I just…. can’t… deal with it anymore.

2) What’s worse is that the WWE ALSO doesn’t give me a reason to care about Smackdown anymore either. First, they wiped out the roster in hopes that Christian, Orton and Sin Cara could carry the damn thing. Now, they have become a copy cat of themselves on two fronts. Minus little things here and there, SD from last Friday was the same damn show that SD was two weeks ago, which was a copy of the same show the week before that. Yeah, Zach Ryder is on SD now – but aside from that… it’s the same thing.

Their “A” storyline hasn’t changed in fucking months minus who wears the gold belt. For the last five weeks, Orton is mad because Christian has the belt, then it breaks down into a fight. Wash, rinse and repeat until Summer Slam.

Even worse yet, according to poster spoilers, its going to continue for another month. In addition, they are blatantly – and acceptingly – stealing storylines from RAW. Natalya Niedhardt turned fucking heel this week…beat up AJ (who, I gotta say, kind of struck the “hot” cord in my head. I think I wasn’t into it before because I REALLY hate Chuck Taylors, so her wrestling “boots” drove me crazy to a point where I didn’t want to watch her. But, I looked past the boots this week and, bam…kind of hot. But, whatever.)…and then got on the mic and said “I’m with ya Beth Phoenix!!!” Jesus…she might as well have said “I just beat up AJ because we are gonna steal the Diva storyline from RAW!!” So, like TNA…give me a reason to care. Give me a reason to not think you are just recreating the same shit from the week before – give me a reason to not think you are stealing from RAW…and I’ll watch it and even recap it.

— Going back to my first graph, there’s something I’ve wanted to over-analyze for a long time now – and I decided this would be the absolute perfect time because of the way Monday Night Raw ended. The statement I’m about to say is something I personally never thought I’d say, but its an idea that I’ve been slowly warming to over the past couple of months:

I think its time we ALL started giving John Cena respect.

Now, let me explain why that is such a huge statement for me to say:

First, In case you couldn’t figure it out – I am from Chicago, and anyone over the age of 13 in Chicago HATES John Cena. You can witness this statement EVERY TIME the WWE comes to Chicago for any reason – especially for any PPV. Personally, I can point to four events where Cena was basically booed out of Rosemont – where the Allstate Arena is located (no, the main arena for the WWE is not in Chicago, it’s in Rosemont.)

The first was, of course, at Money in the Bank, where Cena was going up against Chicago’s Very Own CM Punk. There was a sign there that said “If Cena wins, we riot…” and, honest to God, had Cena won, Chicago would have rioted. No, I wasn’t at the event – I could have been, but I didn’t put my name in for skybox tickets at work because the skyboxes at the Allstate are just horrendous. During that event, the “We want Cena…Cena sucks” chant was firmly and loudly on the side of Cena sucks by, I’d say, a 3 to 1 margin.

The second was at Wrestlemania 22 – when Cena faced off against HHH for the WWE Title. I was there…and let me tell you, that crowd ALSO hated John Cena. Better, Triple H was supposed to be the heel in that match.. and the crowd was again three to one in the “Cena Sucks” chant. Best yet, me and my buddy were two of the MANY voices that were chanting against Cena, which upset the six year old in front of us to near tears. (I wonder if that kid is still a Cena fan?)

The third – Cena inducted William “The Refrigerator” Perry into the Hall of Fame before WM 22, and Cena was basically booed out of the building. I know it was cut from TV or whatever, but seriously, I was sitting with a friend and right behind an exec from the WWE. I leaned forward during the booing and told the exec “You guys need to turn him heel.” His response was “No way. This is when he’s at his best.”

And, fourth – Rock returns to Raw the night before WM 27 and faces Cena in the ring… I was there. The Rock is a legend in Chicago because he’s had a ton of career highlights at the Allstate, but more importantly, Chicagoans take pride in being the “City of Big Shoulders…” and Cena was again booed out of his Jorts… especially after he put the Rock down in the ring with a shrug of his shoulders.

The Rock was right in his Facebook rant Monday night when he said the city can see a phony – and that John Cena is a phony. And, if I know my city like I know my city – Chicago hates phonies… and that’s why Chicago will never warm to John Cena – or Randy Orton, for that matter. Chicago hates Randy Orton too.

I’m going to side with Chicago, CM Punk, the Rock and anyone else when I say flat out – absolutely, John Cena is a fucking phony.

But, here’s the problem with that statement – you REALLY can’t use “Cena’s a phony” as the reason WHY we should not give Cena respect. And, that’s because every single wrestler that has been or currently is a part of the WWE are also big, giant fucking phonies.

The Rock is a phony, CM Punk is a phony, Stone Cold was a phony… even the all mighty Zach Ryder is a phony. And, the reason that statement is 100 percent true is – bear with me – WRESTLING IS PHONY.

Every aspect of this thing we love is 100 percent phony. The moves are phony, their schtick is phony, Vince McMahon and the McMahon empire is phony…. all of it is phony…. it’s all 100 percent scripted and everything is planned out moves and moves in advance.

So, saying we do not respect John Cena because he’s phony is like saying we do not like Tony Stark in Iron Man because he’s phony. (I didn’t say Robert Downey Jr., I said Tony Stark, the guy Downey Jr. played.)

See, John Cena is a character on a TV show. Just like CM Punk is a character on a TV Show. Just like Tripe H is a character on a TV show. You see, this isn’t a reality show like Survivor and the person you are seeing on television is not the same person playing the game. This is actually more akin to something like the Office – where you have a script, you have a format, there is editing, and its produced for entertainment.

Yes, there is more ad-libbing and improv…yes there is real life movements in the ring… but the wins and losses are planned out by a team of writers, while at the same time, people are told what they can and cannot say.

So, in the end, WRESTLING IS PHONY. So calling John Cena a phony within a phony show isn’t an argument on why the man should be disrespected. It’s seriously like hating the actor on any TV show for playing a character we don’t like.

It’s a TV show, dammit. It’s a damned TV show.

The wrestlers are told what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. They are handed characters and told to be this someone – BE JOHN CENA – and, in order to get a paycheck so they can eat, they be the person that is CREATED by the writers of the WWE. They be the person that Vince McMahon WANTS them to be.

Fuck – we’ve all seen the clip on Youtube where Vince is in his office telling Darren Drozdoff (the Droz) that he will join the WWE and be “Puke” because he can puke on command. He went on to tell him how to act, how to behave, what to say and what not. Vince McMahon and a team of writers come along and actually BUILD the character… then, they adjust the character on the fly to what the people want.

In that regard, Cena started off as a rapping white guy who insulted everyone – and, I recently watched some of the old Cena footage (my son was sick so I picked him up a Cena dvd from the $3 bin at Walmart)… and – here’s a shock – we all CHEERED THE FUCKING SHIT out of Cena when he was telling Stephanie McMahon the things he would do to her in the sack. Seriously, the entire fucking arena was on their feet and applauding every stupid “thugonomic” bullshit statement that came out of his mouth. And, before you ask – there were guys in Austin 3:16 shirts and Rock shirts chanting “CENA!!CENA!! CENA!!”

Then Vince McMahon makes a decision to make Cena a huge face and turn the WWE PG, the writers take away the thugonomic raps and replace it with Cena the drill sergeant saluting the troops at the top of the ramp, and Cena’s chain is replaced by Jorts, dog tags, and brightly colored T-Shirts… and the adults watching start to boo. All of this stuff was done to bring in the PG audience – all of it was to make Cena more appealing to kids – and it pissed off those of us OUTSIDE of that age group.

Now here’s the WHOLE thing that makes me think – shit, Cena is getting the rawest of deals in this whole thing:

What the fuck would you do if you were John Cena?

Seriously… I bet there isn’t a day that goes by where John Cena said “I wonder why they are booing me now?” He’s ALWAYS KNOWN you were booing him… he heard the chants at WM 22… he heard the chants last night… and he has consistently – for the last five fucking years – played up to those chants.

Yet… and here’s where the ultimate respect comes in – he went out and did the job that he was told to do DESPITE of us chanting “Cena sucks.”

Bottom line: John Cena showed up and did the job he was PAID to do.

Therein lies the reason why I think its time to start respecting John Cena… he goes to the damn show EVERY FUCKING DAY and does the job that he’s paid to do, and, he does it in spite of all of us screaming “you suck” in his face.

Seriously, I’m a Chicagoan and I fucking work mother fucking hard for my money. I work overtime for free, I’ll work on my days off, and sometimes I take a call in the middle of the night that is pertinent for my job. I bust my ass so I can have a roof over my head, a car to get me from point A to B, and food in my kid’s mouths.

And, God damn it, I’m respected because of it. Add in the fact that I teach baseball to the kids, I read to my sons at night, and kiss my wife every morning before I go to work… and fuck, I’m considered a hell of a guy.

But, here, inside the fucking WWE Universe, John Cena does the same damned thing – he works hard for the money he’s paid, he does what his bosses ask of him, and John Cena the man – not John Cena the character – gets told he sucks.

And, seriously, it doesn’t make any fucking sense at all.

See… granted, John Cena IS a phony, but he’s not a phony in and unto himself… he is a phony created by WWE creative.

Worse – yes we all she much love for CM Punk – and it’s because he’s saying the things that we all want to say, and saying it in such a way that it is entertaining. But, at the same time, PUNK is also phony in that regard. He – like Cena – is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be the person that WWE creative tells him to be. Seriously… think about it… do you really think Punk would go to a 6-year-olds house like he did on the Jimmy Kimmel show just to argue he is better than Cena? No… he wouldn’t. However, because Vince McMahon told Punk to do it – and he did.

Yet for some reason… Creative tells Cena walks out in a bright colored T-shirt, wearing Jorts, and uses dick jokes to get his point across – and we boo him and label him a phony. But, CM Punk does the SAME FUCKING THING – but has a different character than the one created for Cena, and he’s our messiah?

It doesn’t make sense. Creative made Cena, creative made Punk. But Punk gets applauded and Cena gets booed.

Then, we continue to disrespect the man behind the character of John Cena.

The inherent problem that EVERYONE has is that Cena willingly accepted the direction that WWE creative set up for him. They took him from a “rapping white guy” to a PG, ass kissing wrestler in jorts.

But, and here is one of the last thoughts I’ll make – what the fuck would you have done? I’ll tell you right now, if MY BOSSES walked up to me and said “I’ll pay you six figures a year to dress in brightly colored T-shirts, wear jorts and rap,” you can bet your ass I’d be a jort’s wearing version of Eminem while dressed like a damned fruity pebble. Fuck, I’ll come to the god damned ring in a Fred Flintstone costume singing a rap song from Sesame Street.

And, I’ll happily be called a fucking sell out too.

With that being said, I have done worse shit for less than six fucking figures a year.

But, in the end, I’ll respect the fuck out of myself for putting food on my kids table… because that’s what its all about. Doing what you need to do make ends meet in a fucked up economy.

So, seriously… from this point on, I want it well known… I may not like the character WWE created for John Cena… and I may cheer for CM Punk over John Cena in every match they have together…

…but from this point on, I will respect the man behind the character because he ABSOLUTELY deserves that respect.


— WWE did some spring cleaning this week, releasing a bunch of midcarders that have been barely hanging around on TV recently. The most surprising of the five names was Melina and Chris Masters. Melina is a former Diva’s champion who was given a semi-push right around Wrestlemania, while Chris Masters went through training to actually learn how to wrestle and cut promos in recent months.

However, backstage rumors were that Melina was becoming increasingly more difficult to work with – especially with how she disrespected Trish Stratus around WM – and she was shown the door. Don’t worry, she’ll wind up at TNA in relative short order. The good thing is that maybe this will motivate her boyfriend John Morrison to start taking this shit seriously. (Or, it could go the other way and make him flake out at all the whoreness his girlfriend is doing with everyone over in TNA.)

In addition, Masters and his two strikes on the WWE Wellness Policy didn’t pan out. He will also probably have the door opened for him at TNA, though I’m sure they’ll see the problems that WWE has had with him over the years and plug him in mid-card hell as well. Seriously, the lost of Masters doesn’t excite me at all.

In addition, Gail Kim got her wish and was escorted from the locker room during the latest round of cuts. I mean, seriously, if you’re going to eliminate yourself from a battle royal, you don’t deserve to be on TV, so this one doesn’t really shock me either. Is Kim a god worker? Not as good as Melina.

Kozlov, who was one of my favorites, was also given his release. But, I wouldn’t be surprised if the WWE brings him back after a quick contract restructuring. After all, he was the straight man to Santino’s funny man, and he was awesome at it. Though, in then end, he only had like three moves, so he was pretty stiff in the ring.

The final one was Harry Smith, former member of the newly-recreated Hart Foundation (or Hart Dynasty as they called it) and the strong man of the Tyson Kidd/DH Smith team. To say I’m shocked is bullshit… we haven’t seen him in about three months. However, I thought the WWE would have hung onto him and sent him down to the lower levels to repackage him in order to keep Bret Hart and the rest of the family happy. Seriously, you know how Bret can be… he takes shit like this personal.

— Here’s something from the dumb-ass pile… Sin Cara will be making his return to SD this weekend, but it wont be Mistico under the mask in the ring. FCW star Hunico is expected to be in the ring wrestling as Sin Cara… Mistico is still officially suspended until later this month.

HA HA HA… it reminds me of Doink.

— Edge stated in a new interview promoting his guest-spot on HAVEN that he would be appearing at SummerSlam. The former world champ – and my kid’s favorite wrestler – said he’ll be at Summerslam Axxess this weekend, but did not specify whether he would be appearing on the pay-per-view broadcast. He said, as of right now, he’s enjoying retirement, and has no interest in doing anything behind the scenes or commentating in the immediate future.

I’m sure I’ll make appearances from time to time like (Shawn Michaels) does. I’m not interested in commentating, but maybe at some point something behind the scenes if it didn’t involve the crazy travel. My days of over 200 days a year on the road are over.

He also said you’ll be able to see him promoting a movie in January he shot last year for WWE Films called BENDING THE RULES.

— Ric Flair apparently showed up to Tuesday’s TNA Impact Wrestling tapings. According to PWInsider.com, people were very surprised to see the legend backstage before the show because of the heat he has been in with the company as of late. Many assumed he was written off, but low and behold, there he was.

I said it last week, he probably has an ex-wife who needs money… Jeez, you understand Flair will keep showing up until he’s dead, right?

And finally…

Summer Slam is this Sunday, and I gotta tell you, kind of confused how they can only bill four matches on what is widely regarded as the WWE’s second largest PPV of the year. And, worse, it seems like this PPV sort of snuck up on them and they are trying to squeeze everything in without a storyline drawn out.

Confirmed matches are:

Orton vs. Christian for the World Title

Punk vs. Cena for the WWE Title

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix for the Diva’s championship

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry for – um – no reason.

I don’t know why they aren’t officially announcing more matches – but I also expect Ziggler vs. Alex Riley to make its way onto the show, and maybe this time it’ll happen without Vickie Guerrero getting Ziggler DQed. It wouldn’t surprise me if Zach Ryder winds up on the show – and maybe has to put his Internet title on the line – and Zeke Jackson has a match against someone, somewhere. Also, Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett is also on a simmer on SD, as is Mysterio vs. Miz in retaliation for the attack that took place on Raw.

I did originally expect Morrison vs. R-Truth to take place, but they did it clean on Monday, so I don’t think that’ll make it to the show. (I wonder if it WAS scheduled, then pulled because Morrison freaked out when Melina was cut…hmmmm?)

So, it’s anywhere between 4 and 9 potential matches, with most unsigned at this point. To me, it makes no sense to make the card a secret. You want buy rates? You get that by actually booking and announcing matches people want to see.

Well, at any rate, I wasn’t planning on buying it but we’ll do a quick once over next week.

That’s it for me kids…. next week, I’ll try to get back to some recapping, but I really wanted to vent about Cena. Now, before you label me a Cena lover or something – understand, I’m not…I’m still not digging his character. But, in my eyes, the guy deserves respect in the industry for doing what was asked of him.

See ya.

– ~ – ~ – ~ – ~ – ~ –

The opinions of the Squared-Circle Jerk do not necessarily reflect those of GuysNation.

You can follow him on Twitter @S_C_Jerk, and if you want to get in touch with him you can either respond with comments to this article, or you can email him here: scj [at] guysnation [dot] com (and he LOVES getting email)