On the way into work this morning, I heard a commercial in which Mike Greenberg (one of the Mikes from Mike & Mike In The Morning from ESPN) talks about buying underwear for Mike Golic.

On what planet is that an acceptible gift?

I’m not even going to get into the discussion of how one guy would know the underwear size of another man.  The only times when a man should give another man a gift of underwear is as follows:

  • if the two men are related.  A father should feel welcome to buy underwear for his son.  Until a father reaches a certain age, the only underwear a son should buy for him should include some sort of novelty factor in the design.
  • if there is a novelty factor involved.  Friends should be able to give the gift of underwear to one another if the sight of the underwear produces some sort of laughter.
  • if the men are romantically linked.  Just like a man and woman should be allowed (and in many cases, encouraged) to purchase underwear for one another, this, too, is extended to couples of the same gender.  GuysNation isn’t in the practice of limiting rights to couples based on the gender-makeup of the pairing.  We have fun imagining women buying underwear for one another (especially if lace is involved), so we’re not going to make a judgment call about gay men doing the same.

Men shouldn’t borrow each others underwear, so repayment with a newly purchased pair should never be necessary.  If a man is out of underwear, he should make a free-ball trip to the store to make the purchase himself.

Men shouldn’t talk about each others underwear (unless there’s some sort of novelty involved).  If, in a gym locker room situation, it is noticed that another man’s underwear has become too revealing due to the number of holes which have formed over time and much use… IGNORE IT!  You shouldn’t be looking in the first place!   If you find a comfortable pair of underwear and you want to let a friend know about it so that he might also enjoy the particular brand, the only acceptable way to transfer that knowledge is by telling a woman to relay the information, but it shouldn’t be relayed as though it’s being routed from one guy to another.  The information can have linkage to the first man, but it shouldn’t be construed as a piece of information which Guy 1 wanted Guy 2 to know about.

This is not about being comfortable in ones sexuality or manhood.  This is about the fact that underwear, when not involving novelty, isn’t a topic which men should care to talk about, and it’s certainly not a gift that one heterosexual man should be giving to another.  Not unless they’re related.

And since it’s Christmas time coming up: