We’re live blogging WWE SummerSlam, and no introduction needed, let’s jump right into it.

Intercontinental Title Match – Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler (c)

Kofi Kingston very early on does a suicide dive and shows us why it’s called a SUICIDE dive… no one home.

Dolph Ziggler wants this match to end quickly to get a count out victory… who would’ve guessed that Vickie Guerrero’s boyfriend wants something to end quickly?

Did Michael Cole JUST realize that Vickie Guerrero / Dolph Ziggler is a conflict of interest?

I just realized that Kofi’s ankle injury from friday seems to have healed up nicely.  Definitely thought that was happened (as you can read from my recent article posted earlier today).

Finally, Nexus targets someone on Smackdown, and we get a no contest as they attack Kofi.  Is there a chance that they didn’t go after Dolph Ziggler because they’re not allowed to be involved in a title situation and it would be wasted effort?

Diva’s Chamionship Match – Melina vs Alicia Fox (c)

What in the world kind of head dress is Melina wearing?

How crazy is the skin-tone colored outfit Melina is wearing?  Almost like she’s wrestling with no pants on.

Melina with an awesome STF-style curb-stomp on Alicia Fox, who’s now feigning an injury to her face.

Melina looks legitimately hurt, and they’re referencing that the knee injury is what took her out of action the first time.  Could she be faking it to out-Fox Alicia Fox?

90 seconds later, the injury to the knee is forgotten about.

Melina with a relatively harmless looking move… a modified STO… and new Diva’s champion.  No one I’m watching it with seems to care… and the live-crowd only looks partially interested.

“Rear View” Josh Matthews keeps his nickname in tact as he goes for the interview while Melina is still on the turnbuckles facing the crowd.  I’d probably go for the same approach.

Lay Cool coming out to attack the RAW Diva champion?  WHY?  I’m not sure anyone’s all that interested, and it’s not like it’s going to lead to anything… unless they put all the Diva’s on one show.

Handicap Match – Straight Edge Society vs The Big Show

Battle of the bald heads.  Mercury knocked down, Little Show (Luke Gallows) knocked back.  Regrouping time.

Big Show grabs Mercury by the head from the outside and they say it’s “Kobe Bryant like”.  Then he picks Joey Mercury up over his head, legitimately grabbing by by the crotch, and there’s no “balls” reference in that one.  What gives?

If Big Show’s hand is broken, why would he want the tape removed from his hand?  Is it not really broken (obviously it’s not… but storyline purposes).

Big Show gets his hand worked over for a little bit, now he’s back to throwing people around.  CM Punk leaps off the top rope… right into Big Show’s grasp… and Punk manages to escape.

If CM Punk doesn’t like the Straight Edge Society talking on the mi, would he have been content with Joey Mercury PINNING Big Show?  Big kick-out by Show, and we don’t have to wonder.

Big Show with the chokeslam of Joey Mercury down onto Luke Gallows… easy pinfall.  If CM Punk can’t beat Big Show with two guys helping him, how could he stand a chance in a one-on-one?

Backstage

Kane and Sheamus face to face?  Wow, Sheamus asking Kane to use the casket on Randy Orton.  Kane declines.

Maybe Sheamus should’ve hinted that “Legend Killer” Randy Orton could’ve been the one to put Undertaker on the shelf.

In-Ring

The Miz is talking about whether or not to join Team WWE…. and I feel like I’m watching The Decision with LeBron James talking about what to do.  Get to it already, Miz…

So The Miz IS joining Team WWE.

I don’t buy it, but we’ll go with the assumption that he’s not lying.  He should’ve worked a deal where he could get a guaranteed World Title shot out of the deal.  Edge, Cena, Jericho… all of those guys trying to recruit him… couldn’t he just say “guarantee that if you get the belt, I’ll get a shot”?

WWE World Title – Randy Orton vs Sheamus (c)

The announcers just mentioned that this title is the most important belt in the business.  What does that say for the Smackdown World Championship?  Nothing we didn’t already know.

What’s up with there not being a Spanish Announce Table?  Do they have to rely on subtitles tonight?

The fight goes outside the ring, and randy Orton gets thrown into the steel steps, and he’s favoring his shoulder.  Something tells me this will play into the match more than when Melina got “injured” earlier.

Sheamus with a near-fall and Jerry Lawler guesses the percentage of the third-count that Sheamus ALMOST got (7/8).  Sheamus does a little more damage, another pinfall attempt, and Michael Cole supposes that Randy Orton kicked out SOONER this time (getting only 2.5, which is 3/8 sooner than before Orton got stomped on).

Randy Orton just started doing the back-to-back backbreaker a few months ago… how is that VINTAGE, Michael Cole?

Somebody ask Michael Cole what he means by “a malignant growth of momentum”, because out of everybody I’m watching this with, nobody can figure it out.

Sheamus only partially falls, and that’s how you counter the RKO?

We think Michael Cole is making up names for moves, or just screwing up the names.  The Irish Curse?  First he uses that name for the Crucifix Powerbomb Sheamus used, then he clarifies and says that name is for the backbreaker.  The Bro Kick?  Sounds like the name of a move that The Miz should do.

Sheamus gets himself disqualified, proving he doesn’t need other people to help him get disqualified.

Jerry Lawler pleading for Orton not to use the table… is he thinking about the health of Sheamus, or the fact that he wouldnt’ have a place for his Slurpee?

Table doesn’t break, works out well for Lawler and the announce team, not so good for Sheamus.

Our viewing party wants to know where the hell The Miz is, with Sheamus knocked out cold.  The belt could be his… does he not want it?

World Heavyweight Championship – Rey Mysterio vs Kane (c)

Announcers make reference to Kane being Mysterio’s “larger opponent”… isn’t everyone except for Evan Bourne considered to be larger than Rey?

Rey Mysterio misses the hurricanrana off the rope, falls all the way to the mat, and he’s right back in the match?  What’s the difference between falling from there and being thrown?  Apparently falling doesn’t hurt.

Is it possible that because Mysterio closed the casket, that The Undertaker will be in there the next time it opens?

AND IT DOES!!!!!  Undertaker’s apparently not a vegetable anymore, and Kane can’t believe it!

Undertaker turns his focus on Kane and it looks like Undertaker’s going to chokeslam him, but should we be surprised that Kane over-powered him?  If Undertaker was in a vegetative state for months, he’s probably not at 100% right now.

If Kane is the one who originally put Undertaker out of action, why wouldn’t he have stuffed Undertaker back into the casket after hitting the Tombstone piledriver?

7-on-7 Elimination Match – Nexus vs Team WWE

Team WWE lines up outside the ring, and John Cena has apparently found a replacement for their team, so they don’t need the services of The Miz.

I knew it!  Bryan Danielson is the 7th member!  WOOOO!  American Dragon!!

Not only is he here, but Bryan Danielson made Darren Young tap out!

Morrison in the match, gets the best of Michael Tarver after the Starship Pain.  It’s now 7 to 5 in favor of Team WWE.

WHY would John Morrison think to try to match strength with Skip Sheffield?  Not a good strategy.

Our viewing party thinks Sheffield looks like the Ram Man from He-Man… a reference most of the WWE Universe won’t understand.

Wow, Skip Sheffield eliminates John Morrison AND R-Truth in the matter of a minute?  That was quick.  All even at 5 guys each.

Bret Hart locks in the Sharpshooter on Heath Slater… and in what is likely Bret’s last match, he can’t even make a rookie tap out?  Instead, they have him get disqualified.  Sad.  It was a good way to have him get eliminated, when he really can’t take any damage.  WWE Fail.

Edge gets the pinfall to eliminate Skip Sheffield.  4 each.

John Cena, Bryan Danielson, Edge, Chris Jericho.

Wade Barrett.  Dave Otunga.  Justin Gabriel.  Heath Slater.

Is it odd that John Cena still hasn’t been in the match?  We’re wondering if maybe he’s going to be turning on Team WWE.  I highly doubt it, but I guess stranger things have happened.

Dave Otunga taps out to ‘The Winnipeg Jet” Chris Jericho (also known as the “Phoenix Coyote”), and we’re at 4 to 3 in favor of Team WWE.

Heath Slater pins Jericho… and then catches John Cena not looking… and Edge is gone too!

It’s now down to Cena and Bryan Danielson for Team WWE… and it looks like Cena is now out on the floor, having been attacked by Edge.  It looked like it would be Danielson in the match… but John Cena gets thrown back into the ring, and he’s battling Nexus alone.

It’s looking more and more like Cena’s going to get eliminated and Daniel Bryan / Bryan Danielson will have to fight the rest of Nexus on his own.

Bryan Danielson gets into the match (Cena still in the match), kicking the hell out of Heath Slater.

American Dragon gets the submission over Heath Slater!

THE MIZ RUSHES THE RING AND KNOCKS OUT American Dragon with the Money In The Bank briefcase!

After Bryan Danielson gets eliminated, John Cena outside the ring, broken down, left to fight Wade Barrett and Justin Gabriel.

Gabriel in the ring and he winds up his hand, getting set for the attack… and he KICKS John Cena.  Who winds up their right hand to go for a kick?

Cena on the comeback, Michael Cole mentions “Vintage Cena”, and our viewing party wonders why we didn’t get a single “VINTAGE Bret Hart” reference from Cole tonight.  Is it because EVERYTHING Bret Hart does is Vintage?

Justin Gabriel gets Cena into a bad position, we’re told that his 450 Splash has taken out superstars “such as Vince McMahon”… and Cena avoids the move by rolling aside, gets the pin, and it’s down to two.

John Cena vs Wade Barrett.

Cena gets Wade on the mat, locks in the STF… and Wade Barrett taps out!

Team WWE wins!