Courtesy Lucasfilm

As one movie critic put it leading up to this week, The Oscars are the Super Bowl of sorts for people who love movies. The only problem is, with only insiders voting and money backing campaigns to highlight films, the best are not always showcased in film’s “Super Bowl”. So what if awards were handed out regardless of money or politics or what have you? What if it was simply about the best, plain and simple?

Well, here are those awards, at least according to one GuysNation film critic!

Below you won’t find nominees and winners for every category the Oscars will cover tonight, but you will find most. And, certainly, the more important ones (sorry, one can only care so much about makeup and hair styling).

Thus, I humbly give you The Bryans!

Courtesy Twentieth Century Fox

BEST PICTURE
Bleed For This
DEADPOOL – WINNER
The Edge Of Seventeen
Fences
Gleason
Hidden Figures
Jackie
La La Land
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Sully
Thoughts: The fact that Deadpool wasn’t even nominated with a tenth spot open on the nomination list in the Oscars is ridiculous and the primary inspiration for this type of article: to give love to films the Academy never will. Also getting no love was Gleason, my runner-up for this category and a shoe-in for a different category down the list!

Courtesy Bron Studios

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Jake Gyllenhaal, Demolition
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool
Miles Teller, Bleed For This
DENZEL WASHINGTON, FENCES – WINNER
Thoughts: A rather weak year for leading men. Outside of Teller and Washington’s performances, you could make arguments for a number of guys either being on or off this list. Some will raise an eyebrow to Gyllenhaal getting here for ‘Demolition’ since the other film he was in, ‘Nocturnal Animals’, is generating more buzz, but Gyllenhaal himself was much better in the former.

Courtesy Jackie Productions

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Taraji P. Henson, Hidden Figures
Felicity Jones, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
NATALIE PORTMAN, JACKIE – WINNER
Hailee Steinfeld, The Edge Of Seventeen
Emma Stone, La La Land
Thoughts: This was a two-woman race all the way as, outside of Henson and Portman’s performances, everyone is a very distant third. It was super close, but I have to give it to Portman who was nothing short of brilliant portraying one of the most iconic women in history.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell Or High Water
Aaron Eckhart, Bleed For This
BEN FOSTER, HELL OR HIGH WATER – WINNER
Woody Harrelson, The Edge Of Seventeen
Thoughts: Overall, I thought the crop of supporting performances was much stronger than lead roles this year. Eckhart got absolutely no love for what I thought was a terrific performance, and while Jeff Bridges is getting acknowledged for Hell Or High Water, his co-star Ben Foster was even better and it baffles me that no one seems to see this.

Courtesy Levantine Films

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
JANELLE MONAE, HIDDEN FIGURES – WINNER
Margot Robbie, Suicide Squad
Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Thoughts: All three women in ‘Hidden Figures’ were terrific, which is ironic because, if I had to choose, Spencer was probably the weakest of the three. Yet she is the only one racking up nominations this awards season. To me, Monae had the best performance in a tremendously acted film (yes, even better than Henson). But some love needs to be given to Margot Robbie who absolutely brought the sort of psychotic charisma Harley Quinn needed in ‘Suicide Squad’.

Courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Finding Dory
Kubo And The Two Strings
Sausage Party
The Secret Life Of Pets
ZOOTOPIA – WINNER
Thoughts: Sausage Party is the kind of movie the Academy will obviously never touch, but it was fun, imaginative and wildly entertaining up until its admittedly hard-to-bare ending. But what we really need to talk about is Zootopia. This was far and away the best animated film of the year. Incredibly original and brilliantly creative, yet its allegorical tale is what makes it a need-to-watch. Especially in this day and age.

Courtesy Bron Studios

DIRECTING
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
David Mackenzie, Hell Or High Water
Theodore Melfi, Hidden Figures
DENZEL WASHINGTON, FENCES – WINNER
Ben Younger, Bleed For This
Thoughts: This might be the one category where the hype surrounding La La Land is well-deserved and Damien Chazelle deserves most of if not all the credit. However, Denzel Washington not only directed probably the best all-around acted film this year, he himself was the best of that incredible cast. Yet, his biggest achievement this year might be how he brought this play to the big screen with such ease. While it is not his first go at sitting in the Director’s chair, it should be the first that lands him an award (though it sadly won’t this awards season).

DOCUMENTARY
GLEASON – WINNER
Jim: The James Foley Story
O.J.: Made In America
Weiner
Zero Days
Thoughts: Kudos to the academy for recognizing O.J.: Made In America (it’s a long-overdue nod to ESPN’s ‘30 For 30’ series), but how on earth did ‘Gleason’ get overlooked? Simply put, Gleason is a must-watch and was my second-highest rated film this year. In my mind, it was one of the best documentaries ever. Period.

Courtesy A24

SCREENPLAY
Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
Kelly Fremon Craig, The Edge Of Seventeen
BARRY JENKINS, MOONLIGHT – WINNER
Taylor Sheridan, Hell Or High Water
August Wilson, Fences
Thoughts: While I wasn’t as high on ‘Moonlight’ as many people were this year, there is no denying the story Barry Jenkins has put forth and adapted into a screenplay. The story of one neglected man’s quest for love of any kind in some of the most brutal and unforgiving places in our society is nothing short of devastating and the way Jenkins layers on the experiences that mold and make what starts out as a boy and transforms into a man that in some ways is a product of his environment and in others is wholly independent is a sight to behold.

 


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