I am insanely addicted to all things electronic. When I was a kid, my parent’s bought me my first Casio keyboard for my birthday, which I promptly tore apart to see how it worked. Yea, I was that kid. The kid who would rather destroy his toys to see the innards than he would play with them. My Grandfather, god love him, gave me a nickname. Destructo. A very apt name I’d say. But, it’s for these reasons that I am who I am today, and I am the person to give you these gift ideas.

Take it from one techy to another. You want these gifts.

Gift #1: Tv-B-Gone Kit

First off we have the Tv-B-Gone kit. This is great for those people that like to put together their own little toys, and for the practical jokers. Hell, these are also good for those annoying neighbors in apartment 2B. Not as a gift, but as a torture device. TV too loud? Click. It’s off. Do that a few times, and they’ll just get flat frustrated! Can I get a “silent night” anyone?

What is it?

In it’s simplest form, it’s a kit to build a remote that shuts off a huge array of televisions. In it’s not so simple form, it is the ultimate weapon of neighborhood warfare, which can be wielded by only the utmost awesome of the neighborhood block party warriors.

Are you that warrior?

Gift #2: Arduino

In the same vein as the Tv-B-Gone, the Arduino is here to help those at home builders. You know the type. They were building rockets at 12, and solving linear equations by the time they were 10? Yea, I know the type. Hell I am the type. Let’s not kid ourselves. I pulled this nifty quote directly from the Arduino website:

Arduino is an open-source electronics prototyping platform based on flexible, easy-to-use hardware and software. It’s intended for artists, designers, hobbyists, and anyone interested in creating interactive objects or environments.

What is it?

It’s sexy and you can make it bend to your will. For those neighborhood warriors who just need to custom build their weapons, this one could do it for you. I mean, honestly. How can you not see the potential in designing a targeting system for your home made potato rocket? Yea, it’s that cool.

Price: $27.00

Gift #3: Droid Razr

Smart phones are a staple in every single techy toolbox, and not just because the girls dig them, but because they’re easy to use and develop applications for. That means, that sweet little potato gun you’ve designed with the targeting system? Yea, I just powered that up with a custom android app, and now you can fire that bitch from your phone.

What is it?

It’s a phone. But, it’s like the Chuck Norris of phones. Its kicking ass and taking names, and there’s really nothing this side of a zombie apocalypse that is going to keep this phone from being bad ass.

Gift #4: Kindle Fire

Even neighborhood warriors need down time. You always need some time to just chill, read war stories, read over your plans for battle, and re-read the Art of War by Sun Tzu. This nifty gift will help you do just that.

What is it?

It’s an eReader. But it’s not some cheap eReader, it’s an awesome eReader, in color, thats just so damn nifty I can barely put into words how awesome it is. Buy two. Actually, buy three, and send me one.

Gift #5: Pioneer Stage 4

This is most likely one of the most important gifts you can get. If you’ve ever watched Rambo, if you’ve ever seen Top Gun, or even Saving Private Ryan, you damn well know that the only thing that makes a bad ass with a gun a warrior is not the number of people he takes down, but the soundtrack that is played while he’s shooting.

What is it?

It’s a stereo, at it’s core, but it’s more than just that. It is a kick ass sound station for your vehicle that can make any rolling battle station just that little bit more than just an SUV. This turns your rolling SVU into a warrior disco where you match your potato gun blasts with the boom of the bass.

What do I do now?

It’s simple, isn’t it? Go arm your warrior with the best neighborhood warrior technology out there, and then stay away from the damn windows.

Cause it’s goin’ down.

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