#psa: No, not as in a Prodigy Service Announcement, but the original one. You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been doing my Smackdown Insight column lately. That’s because my job is taking up more of my time and I talked to our fearless leader about not doing SD to lighten my load. If anyone wanted to take up a results/commentary article covering the Blue Brand, then I suppose you could ask Rob about it. By the way did you all call your mommas yesterday?
#likeaboss: Triple H has been off TV for too long and has not had the chance to really bury the whole roster like he usually does, so hopefully he’ll get to that soon in this opening promo. He’s selling the arm injury better then he did at the Mayweather fight. Apparently, H is offended by the fact that Lesnar is walking around like he owns the place. Didn’t HHH kind of act like that back during his heel days? Claiming that he’s embarrassed that he bought into Lesnar’s hype isn’t going to cut it either. I know it’s an angle, but what did he expect? Brock to come back as a do-gooder? That’s Cena’s role. By the way Hunter, I’m pretty sure Minneapolis isn’t a place to find alot of ‘simpleton farmboys’ as you put it. Just sayin’. Of course insulting Brock is going to bring out Paul Heyman since Brock ‘quit’ and most of the crowd are still like ‘who is this guy?’. At least Heyman is every bit as aggravating and able to get under your skin as he was back in the day. He ‘serves’ HHH papers that Brock is suing Mr COO, though I’m sure this will be as big as the other ‘lawsuits’ WWE has done.
#thesecondw: Ostensibly, the second W stands for wrestling and we finally get to some with a Teddy Long Special, yes a tag match of Punk-Santino vs Bryan-Rhodes. At least they’re getting the WWE title feud out the way early in the show, he said with heavy sarcasm. Santino is the ‘one of these is not like the other’ in this match. Punk, Bryan and Rhodes all try to wrestle and Santino just does some comedy spots. Cody gets startled by The Cobra but turns right into a GTS by Punk for the win. Very odd match and we didn’t get any mic time for Punk or Bryan which could have hyped their match Sunday better. Then again WWE kind of rushed into it in the first place.
#divasmatch: Time to run to the bathroom!
#twintowers: So remember people, next time you make fun of your boss it could have dire consequences, like being put in a match with the Big Red Monster. That’s what happens now with Big Show after mocking Laurinaitis last week. Mr EVP and The Law Offices of David Otunga’s Travel Mug are by commentary to take in the action. Is it me or is Kane’s entrance not as menacing or fear-inducing as it once was? That this match could’ve been somewhat decent is irrelevant because the Show-Johnny angle took over. Show was about to go for a cover after a big Spear to Kane on the outside, but Johnny got on the mic and demanded an apology at that instant. That appears not to have been his intention as Kane used the distraction to chokeslam Show for the win. Post-match Johnny demands a real apology or he’ll fire Show, who launches into a I’ve-had-a-great-career speech before pleading with Johnny not to fire him. As if the heel Laurinaitis would buy that and further demands Show sincerely apologize from his knees. Show at least saves some of his dignity, but ends up doing it anyway, crying the whole time. Still it’s not enough as Johnny future endeavors him. The whole thing kind of dragged out, but Show did a decent enough job of selling it. At least Cole didn’t gleefully rub it in, but remained silent afterwards.
#changeofpace: Kind of hard to follow a segment like that isn’t it? A Clay-Kofi-Truth vs Ziggler-Swagger-Miz tag match is the answer. Miz has been buried for a while now, but why is Ziggler getting similar treatment? He’s proven he can hang with the big boys and shown marked improvement in the ring. Plus he has solid mic skills, which you wouldn’t know if you didn’t watch him on Ryder’s YouTube show. He’s one of the top sellers in the company right now, but Creative is too concerned with keeping the old vets on top to actually invest some time in building young stars like Ziggler or Rhodes. At least Dolph didn’t take the pin, as that was Miz’s job. Clay continues his Crimson-esque winning streak and there’s no actual angle for him in sight. He was interesting when he came back, but he’s still doing the same thing, which has to be turning off some fans at this point.
#hindsight: So Orton vs Jericho is the main event? Yeah right, we haven’t even heard from Cena, so that will be the ‘actual’ main event. It’s hard for me to get that interested in this match as WWE is essentially giving away a PPV caliber match on free TV, plus they didn’t even hype it or anything. I’m sure these two were headed for an actual feud and it still may happen after the Fatal 4 Way on Sunday. Sheamus is out on commentary, so maybe he’ll work in a tale about one of his Irish relatives. The match lasts for like a minute before they cut to commercial. That’ll sure get the TV audience involved. The Sheamus-Orton tension took up a decent portion of this match and figured into the finish. As Orton was set to RKO Jericho, Sheamus pulled him to the outside and knocked him down, DQing Orton in the process. Jericho hightailed it as those two stared each other down. That match could’ve been so much more, but predictable WWE booking got in the way, where the story is more important then the actual match.
#earthshattering: So Laurinaitis has an announcement that could ‘change the course of the WWE forever. I’m pretty sure that phrase has become a cliche already. Cena actually starts off fairly well, mocking Laurinaitis and called him a ‘loser’ every time he tried to talk. Of course all good things come to an end and Cena devolved into polling the audience and getting cheap pops by bringing up The Steel Curtain and the Penguins. Schoolteacher Eve runs out to hand Johnny some sort of message before running back just as quick. It’s from The Board and stipulates that no one can interfere in The Battle of The Johns and the match can only be won via pinfall or submission. Most importantly, if Johnny loses, he loses his job. The crowd sure popped for that. The new stipulations sure stack the deck against Laurinaitis, but I’m sure he’ll either find some way to win or weasel back into the job if he does lose to Cena. Not that good of a show overall as it didn’t really do a whole lot to make people want to buy the PPV.