Morning, loyal Jerk readers…got nothing but love for ya.

— The good thing about Summer Slam in 2011 is that it makes any recaps I might want to do about SD moot in point. Seriously, I watched SD and, aside from laughing at how he announcers try and cover up that it was a new guy under the Sin Cara mask, it was relatively boring.

But, SummerSlam erased the need for the discussion. As we all know, the main highlight was that John Cena lost to CM Punk, who in turn lost to Alberto Del Rio – making Del Rio the first Mexican born wrestler in the WWE to win the brands major title. (Look it up, everyone you think belongs in that list was actually born in the US.)

Other than that, the show was devoid of anything spectacular that made me care. Kelly Kelly beat Beth Phoenix, but that didn’t seem to calm their feud (or the addition of Natalya/Eve into the mix), Christian lost to Randy Orton after Edge called Christian a whiny bitch, Wade Barrett beat Daniel Bryan and Mark Henry beat Sheamus via count out, and Mysterio, Morrison and Kingston beat the Miz, Truth and Del Rio.

To me? Waste of cash because we can toss out Henry and Kelly Kelly’s wins as viable PPV products…the tag team match could’ve been on Raw for all intents and purposes, and Bryant/Barrett could have appeared on SD.

Pretty shitty for what has been billed as the company’s second largest PPV of the year.

However, the real BIG shock was the appearance of Kevin Nash, who came out of the crowd, leveled CM Punk, opening the door for Del Rio to sweep in and take the win.

Rumors are Nash was contacted Saturday night regarding the run in and was all for the pay day. It also sets up an interesting situation: Raw Boss Triple H now has one of his clique members back in the fold, can the rest be too far behind?

— That takes us to Raw, which was okay this week. You got a title defense by Del Rio against Rey Rey, which was all right. A few other feuds were expanded including Kelly Kelly and the Miz, but, lets face it, the fall out from the world title captured everyone’s attention.

First, Triple H saying he didn’t call Nash and invite him to Summer Slam is in direct contrast to what Nash himself said on Monday. He said he was contacted by text from HHH’s phone to lay out the winner of the world title match. So, he did it. HHH, though, said he never sent the text.

Well, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see where this is going – the text DID come from Hunter’s phone, because Stephanie McMahon sent it. (Hence the reason she has been appearing on TV more and more.) This SEEMS like it will lead up to HHH facing off against Punk at some point, with my bet that it’ll take place at WM 28. However, you never know. Things could change.

In addition, CM Punk came out and blasted Nash for being – um – old, I guess. While I may have downplayed the speech a little, Punk’s speech to Nash was – once again – pretty damn funny. Specifically, he said he got a text from his niece where the assumed-teen thought Nash was dead.


However, I see an immediate problem that, kind of – a little – irritates me. According to WWE law we have all been groomed to accept over the years, a title holder receives an automatic rematch against the new title holder at the new challenger’s request.

In that regard, Del Rio officially pinned CM Punk to win the world championship at Summer Slam – not John Cena. However, creative is shoving Punk off on Nash and HHH, while Cena manages to interrupt the Del Rio match with Rey Rey and insert himself into the title picture.

Yes, it was only one week and MAYBE, just maybe, Punk will address this issue next week. And, I’m hoping it is addressed. However, if they ignore it, it’s seriously going to tick me off. It drives me crazy when details like this – details that have been shoved into our skulls as law, are just pitched out the window because creative does what they want.

Stop that…

Kelly Kelly

— I’ve mentioned her three times, but just in case they don’t get the hint, now would be the time the GuysNation staff puts a hot picture of Kelly Kelly up on my column. So, in that regard – have I mentioned that she’s hot? (Get to work, flunkies!!!)

— TNA…what’s TNA?
I mentioned last week that I wouldn’t cover them until they give me a REASON to cover them…and thus far, that reason hasn’t been achieved. Their storylines still make no sense, Bischoff is still the Vince Russo of wrestling (even though TNA head writer Vince Russo is still the Vince Russo of wrestling), and Hogan teaming with Angle is just – well, perfect for the two of them…two giant egos crammed in one crap bag. One REALLY epically annoying thing is some weird stigma I picked up this week…well, I noticed it a couple of weeks ago, but I attributed it to Sting “crazy talk” and didn’t pursue it.

Why do these guys think – and constantly try to sell me the idea – that “if I have the world title, then I have all the power!!!!” That’s just retarded because EVERYONE knows that the person with all the power in wrestling is the guy doing the bookings on a week in, week out…or in TNA, the people with all the power is the network. So, anytime they say “I need the world title so I can keep the power…” or Angle/Sting arguing over the belt as a way to give the power back to Dixie Carter…it’s just stupid.

— Perhaps the most important aspect of TNA in recent months is a lack of house show attendance. According to reports, only 400 tickets were sold to a recent event in Alabama, and TNA decided to enter into an agreement with a local Toys R Us to fill their venue. Apparently, if you bought a TNA wrestling figure, you got a free ticket to the show. That produced another 100 tickets, but still 500 tickets does not a show make.

I could point out all the reasons why this doesn’t shock me at all – in fact, I did in my stance to not cover them – but this should simply show everyone that, until someone pulls their act together, they have no chance of making money at this thing.

— The money is also a beef between TNA and one of their talents, Jimmy Yang. Yang has been going to twitter and anyone that will listen trying to sell the idea that he hasn’t been paid for appearing on TV about two months ago. And, when he was paid about six weeks ago, the check that he was issued bounced.

He’s pissed – rightfully so – but the courts are available to him to get the money. On the other hand, his movement to go to the media is a good one – how bad does it look when the damn company wont even pay him?

— Matt Hardy released a cryptic statement on twitter saying he is ready to get back in the ring “wherever that may be.”

Sounds to me like Matt Hardy may have been released. Possibly for being a total drunk and doing weird YouTube videos where he and his brother hit a woman with a stun gun.

And, he said “don’t listen to the media, they don’t know anything.” about two months ago when we all said he was suspended and/or released…I think he owes me an apology.

— And, the final – albeit sickening – newsbite from TNA – Linda Hogan said on some radio show that she thinks her ex and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake had an intimate affair at one point. A caller rang in and asked her if Hogan and Beefcake were in a relationship at some point, and her response was “Wow, I don’t know how to answer this, so I don’t end up getting a lawsuit,” she said, laughing. “A little bird told me, ‘Yes they think they did’.” Can anyone say “LAWSUIT!!”

— Over in WWE, my favorite newsbite from the week was that Andy Leavine – the doofus that won Tough Enough – was suspended from developmental territory FCW in Florida for 30 days for violation of the wellness program. This, right here, goes to show you WHY I never liked that guy. I mean, seriously, you have to be pretty damned dense to win TE, then get busted for being on the juice. You know the WWE is going to piss test you EVERY DAMNED DAY because you won the fucking thing!!! Duh…

— In similar news, WWE referee Mike Chioda also was suspended for 30-days for violation of the WWE wellness program. Ha ha ha ha ha ha….

— The WWE is touting that celebrities Cee-Lo Green, Tool’s Adam Jones. actor Kellan Lutz, Los Angeles Lakers’ Ron Artest, Dancing With The Stars’ Cheryl Burke, Karina Smirnoff and Lacey Schwimmer, Jenny McCarthy, Rose McGowan, Michael Clarke Duncan Morris Chestnut and Jennifer Love Hewitt were in attendance for Summer Slam. In fact, Hewitt and her amble bosom got in some trouble for allegedly breaking some rule and dancing for an hour with Hornswaggle. I don’t know if I believe it, despite the report coming from Reuters and not US weekly or something.

— Mick Foley is preparing himself for a life back at the WWE by sucking the proverbial dick of John Cena.
Mick was all atwitter – and then wrote a blog – about how Cena is under rated and should be treated with respect. He said Cena has many great matches under his belt, and carried crappy stars – like Khali and Bobby Lashley – to decent matches.

Methinks that Mick wants a steady WWE paycheck again, yes, but he is also just speaking his mind in a positive way.

But, personally…anyone who says that Cena deserves respect is a complete douchebag and has no respect from me!!!

What? I said what? When? Last week?


— Rey Mysterio my be off TV in a little bit because of a knee injury. He was supposed to have his own match against the Miz at Summer Slam, but the day of the event, the knee was so bad that he couldn’t perform for 20 minutes by himself, so he was inserted into the tag match. At Raw, he was helped to the back at the end of the show and was in visible pain. Not sure what or when he’s going to disappear, but be ready for it.

— Also, Dolph Ziggler has an injured groin, which is why he was not booked in the ring for Raw. He either pulled it (PULLED HIS GROIN!! Get it? Ha!! Er…) at Summer Slam or the week before. He shouldn’t miss any time in the long run.

Melina Perez

Melina Perez

— For those of you interested and have about $3,000 lying around, former WWE Diva Melina is taking indy bookings. But, it takes first class plane tickets and hotel accommodations. She already has one booking – and it’s in my pants – where first class travel is guaranteed. HA!!!

Thats it for me….leave feedback!!