Opening: Three Hs starts to talk about the WWE Title(s) match and his role as guest ref. I’m confused. Am I watching RAW or Smackdown? Shouldn’t he at least talk about the show he’s on? Maybe add something to the Orton-Christian feud that has to end after Summerslam, but probably won’t. He actually mentioned the IC title match for later tonight and it got some pops. I think Rhodes got more pop from the crowd then Big Zeke got. Oh for the love of all things good, why did he mention Khali’s WHC reign? Does he want the audience to be reminded of that train wreck? Christian shows up and says he’s going to sue WWE and has documents to prove Randy is unstable with anger management issues? Couldn’t he just show any Orton match? I’d say that would be enough. I figured Christian would try to weasel out of the NHB somehow, but never thought he’d go with this angle. So why does he start throwing a hissy fit? What a way to build up a top heel. No wonder Smackdown is a such a shabby show.

Sheamus: Comes out as Christian’s opponent to a huge pop. In case you didn’t know, The Celtic Warrior was on Conan last night. Yeah I found it surprising as well. The first he was kind of drowned out by Conan and Richter coming off what I’m guessing was a sugar high. The last half he talked more and even Brogue Kicked a Conan dummy in the head, which went flying, and was actually quite funny. Overall, it was a pretty good showing for Sheamus, worth checking out, and solid proof WWE is fully behind his face turn. I’m thinking next RAW or Smackdown I get a stopwatch out and clock the exact time Cole wastes complaining over the matches. I’d say its a majority, at the very least. Christian locks in some sort of modified armbar after on Sheamus after the latter’s shoulder hit the ringpost, another example of good ring psychology. It makes tactical sense too, I mean if your opponent has an injury, you work on making it worse, right?

Heel Blondes: That’s what Beth and Natalya are and it looks like some sort of team, hopefully to bring some decent matches to the Divas division. Well that was a quick match, but we do get a beatdown afterwards with Natalya putting Kaitlyn in the Sharpshooter and Beth mocking Kaitlyn to her face. That kind of thing is something that will really establish the two as top heel Divas. I could see them bulldozing their way through all the Divas, which would be great of course. Then there’s a backstage promo a bit later with Teddy Long and Aksana??? She was blond, now has black hair and looks like some sort of Bond villianess.

‘Sin Cara’: If reports are to be believed, then it is actually FCW wrestler Hunico under that mask. His first match back is against the jobber Tyson Kidd with the weird haircut, or lack thereof. I wonder if he’ll botch as much as the real Cara, but he ends up not really botching at all. Except for a point where I think he was going for a crossbody off the top rope, but it turned into a flying headbutt. Kidd does start to pull off the mask a bit, which I thought was interesting. Cara ends up winning with a springboard¬† senton/lionsault combo which was pretty good. I like how the commentators kept mentioning how it looks like Cara put on some muscle or there’s no ring rust, given that it isn’t the real Cara underneath the mask.

MITB vs MITB: I like the concept of this match with the two MITB winners facing each other. Cole totally hoses Josh for saying the rumor was that ADR would cash his briefcase in tonight. Of course that is impossible since Del Rio’s is for the WWE Championship with Punk and Cena ostensibly not being in the building. Why are they making such a big deal out of Bryan saying when he’ll cash in? Do they not remember RVD doing the exact same thing? Or are they ignoring the fact since The Whole F’n Show is in TNA? When Barrett runs in post-match to deliver Wasteland to D-Bry they say it’ll be Barrett-Bryan at Summerslam. Really? Just like that? What a way to announce a match. Is Bryan’s MITB on the line? Or are they saving that for a later confrontation? Just some puzzling booking by WWE, then again, most of their booking is just that.

IC Title: Speaking of the IC Title, have you wondered what happened to it? What could be done to bring it back? Well check out this excellent article (/end shameless plug). Of course most of the match commentary is spent on Cole promoting Rhodes to the moon, but that’s to be expected. He apparently should be a role model to kids, according to Cole. Cody does lock in am interesting submission, wrapping Zeke’s arm around his leg, then turning so said arm is behind Zeke’s back and then locking in a rear chinlock and it looks like it could hurt. He even goes and locks it in a second time. A NEW IC CHAMP! I swear I didn’t read spoilers before writing my IC Title in which I said Rhodes should win the title and lead its resurgence. He sure showed the emotion of someone excited to win the title.¬† I’ll refrain from questioning the choice to not have this match at Summerslam, although I guess I just did. Hopefully we can move on to a Cody-Ted feud over the title.

Orton: Cuts the usual Orton ‘Me-angry-must-crush-opponent’ promo, he even mentions what he learned in anger management class. I learned something in kindergarten which was it’s not nice to hit people and you should apologize when you do, but that seems lost on The Viper. Maybe he doesn’t remember kindergarten?

Johnny Curtis: A squash via Mark Henry is a great way to start your career as a wrestler in WWE. At least we won’t have to watch any of his lame promos anymore. Please WWE make them stop! Sheamus comes in for the save after Henry tries to injure Curtis, though John Boy does get a second World’s Strongest Slam on the outside. The debut could have been worse, Curtis could’ve lost to Health Slater.

Main Event: I can’t even watch this match. That would require me having to watch Khali ‘wrestle’. The fact that he is even in the main event is a travesty and one reason why Smackdown’s ratings are in the dumps. Orton will win with an RKO obviously.

 

 


Instantly watch from thousands of TV episodes & movies streaming from Netflix. Try Netflix for FREE!