#thoughtalot: Smakcdown opens with the WWE’s resident YES man, Daniel Bryan coming to the ring and Cole immediately goes into saying he’s thought alot about it and thinks Bryan has it all; the WHC, a good looking girlfriend, plus he’s a vegan. Whoa there Michael. Wasn’t it just the other day you were saying he was a dweeb, a loser who didn’t even own a TV and bashed him every chance you got? Seems since Bryan is now a heel, Cole is man-crushing on him. I wonder if Booker or Josh will ever call him out on his flip flopping. Bryan proceeds to ask AJ what it’s like to be in love with the WHC and she says it ‘heaven’. Well she’s certainly playing the dumbstruck lover role very well as she continues to heap praise on her man. She’ll either turn against him at some point if he goes too far or just become so wrapped up in him that she goes heel. When he made her say ‘Daniel Bryan is a great lover’, not only did it get alot of heat, but it capped off a sort of awkward but at the same time humorous promo. Not so fast Mr Yes, as Sheamus makes his way to the ring, makes fun of AJ a bit and insults Bryan some more. We also found out that Bryan doesn’t like to be called Danny or Danny Boy, so of course the crowd immediately starts chanting them.
#eccentric: To call R-Truth eccentric as Josh just did, is a massive understatement. I mean he did do a little dance on the stage with an imaginary Little Jimmy. Is it funny? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely. Deviating from the norm? You bet. Still he can’t seem to deviate from the onslaught of his opponent Mark Henry. Cole at one points says that 4 members of Team Johnny are former World Champions. O rly? Swagger’s WHC reign was a joke, Ziggler’s lasted all of a few minutes and Christian’s were underwhelming. Only Henry was a legit champ. Speaking of which, that was a legit finish as he catches an aerial Truth and turns into right into the WSS for the pin.
#evenedodds: So The Long Island Iced Z continues to plead his case to Teddy for a spot in the GM match. Apparently, holding that rally before RAW wasn’t ‘big’ enough to impress Teddy, so Zack brings in Khali decked out in Ryder gear and both are made members of Team Teddy. What’s even worse was before bringing in Khali, Ryder had Hornswoggle comes in waving a giant flag with Teddy’s face on it. That alone should tell you that how lame this team is turning out to be. So each team has one spot remaining and there are several candidates. But what I would like to see happen is next Smackdown have Johnny reveal Alberto Del Rio as his final member only for Teddy to have even bigger surprise when he reveals his final guy as a returning Rey Mysterio. Not only would this generate a huge pop for Rey, but a multi-man tag match would allow him to ease back into the ring, considering his injury.
#historyrepeating: So AJ has another match with one of the Bellas and if you can figure out which one, then you’re probably really smart. It’s the same result with AJ getting a rollup win. The pain doesn’t stop there as one Bella grabs a mic and starts a pro-Team Teddy chant. Not only is it cringe-worthy, but it makes no sense. I thought both Bellas were heels, so why is one rooting for Team Teddy. That little pep rally was unnecessary. They just hyped the match in the previous segment with Ryder, so we don’t need it shoved down our throats.
#excuseyou: So as usual, Vickie comes out to introduce one of her clients and gets booed heavily. However, there was a quick shot of a crowd sign that said ‘Excuse me’ and had a drawing of mouth with chipped and broken teeth. Certainly inventive, but I fail to see how bad teeth has anything to do with Vicky. It’s her screeching that we’re supposed to find annoying. Then Swagger with his combed over hair comes out and his former WHC reign was mentioned. I thought it was so embarrassing and such a horrible booking decision that WWE would like to forget all about it. He faces Ryder, who is accompanied to the ring by Swoggle and that horrendous flag. Of course Cole spends most of the match talking about how great Team Johnny is and how lame Ryder is, but Z does pick up the victory to give each team a singles victory apiece tonight.
#rematch: We get a return match from RAW as Big Show faces Kane, but what’s interesting is the Rhodes promo before the break. It was shown as ‘Earlier Today’ and even had a 1:09 timestamp on it. In said promo, Rhodes continued to rip Show for his Mania failures and said he had a plane to catch. What does it all add up to? A Cody Rhodes run in of course? But he was on a plane I hear you say. Well, he’s a heel and what do heels do? Among other things they lie. Cody does run in from the crowd only to be chased off by Show to leave Kane to get an RKO from Orton, who was a run in that wasn’t completely telegraphed by Creative.
#funkedout: It’s yet another Brodus Clay squash and the unfortunate one is Jobber Extraordinaire Heath Slater, who I believe has been squashed by Brodus before. As entertaining as this has been, it’s starting to become bland. Something different needs to happen besides the dance-squash-dance sequence we’ve seen every time he’s come out. Maybe an actual feud? Pretty soon people are going to start to catch on and want to see some progress here.
#teamvsteam: So Ziggler takes on Khali in yet another singles matchup of members from both teams. What’s interesting is that Khali was Dolph’s first big feud when he came back under the Ziggler ring name after his stint on The Spirit Squad, though I’m sure this will not be mentioned by the commentators. Teddy and Johnny/Otunga accompany their guys to the ring. Predictably that plays a role in the finish, because as soon as Ziggler locks in a Sleeper Hold on Khali, Johnny runs over and rings the bell to signal the submission win. This being Teddy’s show, he says Ziggler has a 10 count to get back in the ring, which he fails to do. So Khali wins via countout and Cole is incredulous as usual.
#tagmainevent: It’s as if Teddy realizes this might be one of his last shows as GM, so he feels he has to have tag team main event. The Punk-Sheamus pairing is not nearly as interesting as Bryan-Miz given their history together. Maybe Bryan could help Miz get back to the top? That would be pretty sweet irony if it did happen. Of course, with the way Miz has been booked lately, he’ll probably end up taking the pin via either GTS or Brogue Kick. As the match starts, Josh mentions that Summerslam tix go on sale tomorrow and Booker responds that he has great memories of the event. Really? What about when you lost the WCW title to The Rock? The match itself is enjoyable and what you would expect from these guys. Bryan tries to stay away from Sheamus as much as possible, the heels isolate a face on their side of the ring and tag in and out to keep fresh and there’s the usual hot tag moment. When Sheamus does get that hot tag, Bryan tries to run to tag out, but Miz is already hurting, so Bryan has no choice. My prediction comes true as Miz takes a Brogue Kick to pick up the victory.