I’m not going to beat around the bush. This article is about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie… though I don’t know if I can even use that… At first I was excited. Michael Bay is producing. Maybe we can get a PG13 version based on the original comic. Dark gritty, not as corny. And then they announced that Jonathon Liebesman (Battle for Los Angeles, Wrath of the Titans) was in negotiations to direct, and I thought… This is really happening, we are gonna get a kick ass super hardcore violent turtles movie… The way it’s supposed to be… AND THEN they announced a December 25th 2013 Opening date, and I marked it on my calender.
But I should have saw the signs… A guy who directs alien movies is probably going to direct. Michael Bay, who destroyed the transformers beyond recognition (aliens by the way), is producing, and now Michael bay has talked at the Nickelodeon up front, and has pretty much said that the turtles will be aliens. His EXACT quote is “When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we’re done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.”
Since this is Michael Bay…. insert Overdrawn effect of my head exploding here. Aliens…. ALIENS? Yes there were Aliens in the comic, but they came YEARS after and they were kind of stupid. What the hell is Bay thinking? And what the hell is Hollywood thinking hiring this guy time and time again when he continues to screw with properties that the people who pay for the movies grew up with. Eventually it will back fire, and I could see it happen with this. Especially if they go a CG route for the turtles. That being said… if the alien thing is true…. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I will not go see the movie. The ONLY comic book I read as a kid. My favorite toy line… And they are making a new movie, and I would rather have sex with a porcupine in a vat of hot lava. In any case, like most, I will keep you updated on any further developments.