#nochance: The ‘Mega’ gets added because this is a ‘three hour special’ obviously. Now I’m fairly certain that Vince McMahon is here mainly to pop ratings in ‘reviewing’ Big Johnny’s performance. However, it’s always good to see him back on WWE TV. ‘Mr McMahon’ is a great character and any segment will him in has potential to be great. I do hope he doesn’t fire Johnny as he has been an awesome heel authority figure. He’s upped it to that level where he’s just entering the absurd, but hasn’t crossed that line just yet. Vince doesn’t waste time by getting right down to business by threatening to fire Johnny. Ace’s brown nosing is nearly drowned out by the crowd chanting ‘Fire Johnny!’ and it only gets worse for him as Vince proceeds to rip into him. For some reason Sheamus comes out to add his two cents, or euros. Vince leaves Ace with an ultimatum: Put on an impressive show or at the end of the night, he’ll hear Vince’s Two Favorite Words.

#goodmood: So Johnny’s ‘impressive’ opponent for Sheamus is Tensai? Hasn’t WWE gotten the memo/email/tweet that no one really cares about The Wrestler Formerly Known As Albert? It actually wasn’t that bad and the two looked evenly matched. It went nearly ten minutes, which isn’t that impressive since there’s an extra hour to fill. Sheamus won with a Brogue Kick to give him momentum going into Sunday against whoever replaces Del Rio. Tensai didn’t take too well to the loss, assaulting and beating up his ‘follower’ Sakamoto.

#comedybreak: So this Santino-Ricardo thing is basically a comedy feud that serves to further devalue the US Title which has been held by such luminaries as Lex Luger, Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart and Ric Flair(Wooo!). What makes this interesting is that they’ve scheduled the Bathroom Break Divas match as well here to create Santino-Layla vs Ricardo-Beth. What a trainwreck.

#yesman: As happens anytime Bryan comes out, the crowd erupts into Yes! chants. He insults Punk saying he’s sold out, Punk comes out and says Bryan’s changed and then Kane comes out and reminds everyone of the horrible things he’s done like setting JR on fire and Tombstoning a priest. What makes his mention of those acts stand out even more is that Kane is nowhere near the same person he was when they happened. Saving the best for last, AJ comes out and tries to make peace between everyone, but only ends up coming as even more of a ‘crazy chick’ which is still pretty damn entertaining. Still trying to impress Mr McMahon, Johnny shows up on the Tron and books Bryan-Kane vs Punk-AJ for later.

#classapromo: I know this is RAW, but I have to mention a segment from last week’s Smackdown. We finally got to hear the reasoning behind Christian’s face turn. What I liked the best about the whole exchange between Christian and Cody Rhodes is that WWE could take the video of that exchange and show it to young stars down in FCW as a prime example of a good promo exchange. They had good chemistry with each other and the back-and-forth flow was at just the right pace. I certainly wouldn’t mind this becoming an extended feud.

#scrambling: Del Rio’s injury has forced WWE to scramble to come up with an opponent and they actually have a solid idea of putting 4 former WHC in a Fatal Four Way to determine the new #1 contender. The only problem is those former champs are Ziggler, Swagger, Khali and Christian, accounting for some of the most unimpressive and forgettable reigns in the belt’s history. Cole randomly said it was an elimination match right before it got underway. At least Awkward Khali got eliminated quickly, which means Swagger is probably the next to go. He is indeed after a Killswitch from Christian, but Dolph sneaks in to get the pin, which is sure to further the rift between them. Ziggler and Christian battled it out with Captain Charisma selling an ankle injury and I really hope it’s not a legit one. It ended up being his undoing as Ziggler was able to take advantage and score the pin. Dolph is more then ready for a main event slot, so hopefully this is the start of permanent move up there.

#mealtime: It’s Ryback’s turn to maul/beat/devour two jobbers to the tune of several ‘Goldberg’ chants. Are his matches taking the place of the Diva ones as the obligatory bathroom break? Either way at this point, we’re almost to the 2 hour mark with only 4 matches, 2 of which were too short to really even be called matches.

#sundaypreview: Booking Show and Kofi inside a steel cage as a preview for No Way Out might be Johnny’s most impressive decision tonight. However, this is a TV cage match so it won’t be nearly as grueling or entertaining as a PPV one. Kofi got some offense in, but ultimately Show KOed him to look strong going into his match against Cena. With R Truth out with an injury of his own, was this a way of writing Kofi off as well so WWE could vacate the Tag titles?

#filler: So WWE has realized that the show is practically over and they’ve only had 4 matches, now they’re stuffing them in like crazy. Sin Cara, who needs some sort of angle, squashes Curt Hawkins and perennial jobber Heath Slater…wait for it…jobs! This time it’s worse as he loses to a ‘returning’ Vader in a promotional spot for the upcoming 1000th episode of RAW.

#movingonup: Hey the guys involved in the WWE title hunt are in the main event! Well sort of since this isn’t the true end of the show, but it’s still a step up from the middle of the show. It’s almost as if WWE is trying to make up for weeks of burying its top title with this match slot and the extended promo earlier in the show. As usual I spoke too soon, with it starting out as a virtual handicap match before Punk inadvertently tags in AJ. At this point, all hell breaks loose and by ‘all hell’ I mean Crazy AJ enters the fray. She skips around Kane before suddenly planting a kiss on The Big Red Machine to huge Yes! chants from the dudesi n the crowd. Bryan is smirking for some reason, Punk is in disbelief and in the aftermath, the champ is able to hit the Savage Elbow Drop on Bryan for the win. All 3 men are still trying to figure out what happened as AJ sits cross legged a la Punk post-match. Certainly an interesting way to hype a WWE Title match.

#thefinalcountdown: It’s judgment time for Big Johnny. Vince forces Ace to crutch down the ramp since he ran the People Power Scooter off the stage earlier. He also has security in the ring which Ace thinks is to keep him from harming Mr McMahon. Ha! That’s the funniest line all night. Vince gets more digs at Johnny in before he starts to lead up to Those Two Words, but gets interrupted by Angry Show who gives his own defense of Mr GM. Someone with a mic needs to blurt out ‘OBJECTION!’ Phoenix Wright style to make this segment perfect. If Big Show is out there, you know who’s coming out next. It’s the perennial ‘underdog’ John Cena who turns this from Johnny-Vince into John-Show and blathers on about Hartford, whales, nuggets and how the deck is stacked against him on Sunday. Vince finally interjects to say he’ll be ringside with Johnny for Cena-Show Sunday and if Show loses, he gets to say Those Two Words to Laurinaitis. Of course this can’t end peacefully as a brawl ensues in which security is cleared from the ring, Show and Cena stare each other down before Show turns and WMDs McMahon to end the show. It certainly seems like they’re trying to build the Cena-Show match into something big with this added stipulation, but it won’t really improve the match quality. It certainly didn’t help RAW overall as it dragged like a 3 hour show would and this is what we can expect when it adds that extra hour full time.