Remember Heidi Montag, the attractive blond 20-something from The Hills who killed her attractiveness by not only marrying Spencer Pratt (a guy who many consider a finalist for the award of Biggest Douchebag Alive) but also by rendering herself mostly unrecognizable by already undertaking Joan Rivers’ laundry list of plastic surgeries?  Maybe not, since that’s not exactly a show that screams testosterone, but you’ve probably heard of her.

Turns out she’s not so popular outside of MTV.

She recently Tweeted that she might be showing up on the BRAVO network as a “Real Housewife”, but one of the executives for the cable network doesn’t seem too keen on the idea.

Actually, that’s being too kind.  What Andy Cohen actually said is that he “would sooner stab knives into [his] own eyes than see [Heidi] on this network”.  While he went back and did some damage control and told people not to get “carried away”, I’m glad to hear the original comments.  Though I don’t watch any of BRAVO’s half-dozen different versions of their Housewives series (mostly because I find a majority of the women to be too idiotic, materialistic, fake, petty and trashy, among other adjectives), I’m glad to know that BRAVO has drawn the line for how low in the barrel they’re willing to dip in attempts to entertain.

And The Dumb D-Tackle

For a guy with such a questionable past who has some pending legal troubles, Albert Haynesworth (D-Tackle for the Washington Redskins) doesn’t seem to know the meaning of good decision making.  In fact, he should probably pay someone to make decisions for him.  Full time.  Maybe not meals, but everything else.

Before getting to Washington, Haynesworth stepped on a guy’s head.  Wearing football cleats.  DURING AN NFL GAME.  He had numerous traffic violations which went way beyond your typical “failure to yield” or running a stop sign – we’re talking about speeding so fast that you cause a law abiding citizen to crash as you pass.  Not long ago, Haynesworth was involved in another traffic situation which is causing another driver to press charges, with allegations that Haynesworth got out of his car and physically assaulted the other driver through the other guy’s window.

With all of that going on, Haynesworth managed to get himself into even more trouble.  He must be trying to complete some sort of punch-card listing the various types of assault, because a waitress at the W Hotel in D.C. is accusing Albert of sexual assault.

Maybe Albert assaulted those two individuals, maybe he didn’t, and maybe only one of their claims holds water.  What I do know is that Haynesworth put himself into two terrible situations.  With the public nature of his huge contract, he has to know that he’s a target, so he has to be on his best behavior and not give anyone reason to target him.

Like putting a credit card into the cleavage or shirt-breast-pocket of a hotel waitress.

A little free advice for the somewhat worthess Hundred Million Dollar Man (who needs all the pennies he’s got for legal fees):  Save those types of antics for the ladies at the strip club.

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